25 December 2009

As You May Have Guessed

I hate the holidays. Riding home from my Christmas Eve dinner. Ahem. Solstice celebratory dinner, riding my bike in the snow, car honk honk honk honk. I catch up with them at the next light and hawk up a big ol' chunk o' phlegm and it lands right on the driver window. This was accompanied by a very loud "FUUUUUUCK YOOOOOUUUUUU." My xxmas present to myself.

22 December 2009

I Am on a Roll

It's back, it's rolling (and I mean on a role, not a euphemism for taking MDMA).

NOTE: I often refer to things as "it," it has nothing to do with me trivializing things or disrespecting things and turning them into a non-being; I just do it with all of it--you, her/him, us, we, me... it does what it does and it actually has a point... it may be vague at times but don't get it twisted, it could be a situation.

Special thanks to Q & E for the vernacular.

The first"it" in this post refers to "it" as me.

I've closed two bars in a row... why are there so man seksy guys all of a sudden that think I'm hot? My hair is long now and faggots aren't supposed to like long hair.

Wasted, drunky, I feel like I am giving an awards acceptance speech. RK, AC, FCS, MA, LF, KA, JC & HH, SE, and of course I would be nothing without DK.

15 December 2009

The Best

I just de-fatted the best chicken stock I have ever made. The only other chicken stock that has come close is a method for quick chicken stock using a whole chopped up chicken that is browned and "sweated" with sautéed onion before adding water. It always seemed like a waste to use the chicken meat only for the stock, as the meat could be used as kitty litter it is so dry.

For the most delicious chicken stock such as that in my pantry, I took two approaches to the bird. First, I used a variation of a method for preparing Hainanese chicken rice by dropping the bird into enough boiling salted water to cover it by an inch or so. Roughly chopped celery, carrot, onion, bay leaf, peppercorn, and one dried red chili. I let it come back to almost a boil, covered it, heat on low for fifteen minutes then I turned the heat off and let it poach for another forty-five minutes or so. I removed the poached chicken and dropped it into a colander over a bowl. After the chicken cooled a bit, I shredded the chicken from the bone, being pretty messy about it (there will be a lot of dark meat still attached to questionably textured (fat is not supposed to be crunchy unless it is fried!) fat so do what you want. I reserve all the pulled chicken meat for stuff (mmm chicken salad, myriad pastas, or DOY make chicken soup!) and throw everything else back in the pot, bring it up to an almost boil and throw it in a 250° oven overnight. Strain, at least twice, when you wake up.

Poaching the chicken in water starts the stock off with a strong chicken flavor so when the carcass goes back in it doesn't have to do much work, but it does all night. The other great thing about poaching the chicken is you can add any aromatics you want--say you were going to make a Thai-style chicken soup--you can start off poaching the chicken with lemongrass, ginger, chili, and lime leaf.

Woo. so exciting.

I've Been Sick

When I'm sick I'm miserable and annoying, and this sickytime was really annoying. I am getting rid of... brace yourself... a REALLY BAD COLD. That's all. No swine flu. No cat scratch fever. Low-grade fever, headache, that was all I had. I felt crappy enough to not want to do anything at all. For a week. wah. OK well I'm well enough now to venture outside (scary, but at least it's dark out)--oh yeah, this severe cold was so annoying that it gave me zits. annoying. I hate little things that mark my imperfection. the nerve! So I'm going to some Christmas-y thing put together by two friends (and past and present crushes, one of which could have been mine had it not been for RK) and I'm thinking of either looking really handsome and manly and gorgeous or like this,

but with jeans on over the union-suit. The sweater above is my dedicated holiday sweater on its 1st Manhattan outing (it had a trial run over to dinner in Brooklyn). I think it's a winner. It's 100% acrylic made in korea. kinda amazing. I guess I should shower now as the party has already started.

It Takes Four Hours...

...from the time I eat quinoa to the time it comes out my ass in the same birdseed-looking bits. Hmph.

05 December 2009

Old Dogs, New Tricks

So I fucked the hell out of this guy yesterday... and I was shocked at how much I liked it. He was vers but couldn't really keep it up all that well and mine was rock hard so hey! I received a fleshlight in some gift bag about a year ago, and thought it was pure novelty. A friend of mine told me, "Do your dick a favor and go home right now and use it."

To be honest, I've never been one for getting blowjobs or fucking--I think my chronic masturbation without lube until I started having actual sex created some sort of hypersensitivity that would make me lose my hardon, of course, unless I'm getting fucked. Back to the fleshlight. Holy fuck. Wow. That's what they're for. Fast forward a few months, I'm plowing this dude and liking it. And then I realized:

Fucking someone is like jerking off but using their asshole instead of your hand.

Why didn't anyone tell me this sooner?

04 December 2009

Kitten Photo Shoot

that's what I did this morning with my stoney brainiac queer roommate and her two big fat, stunning, cats. and now...

29 November 2009

TD2009 Menu

beet-pickled deviled eggs
celeriac bisque with thyme creme fraiche and smoked salmon
green goddess butter leaf salad with chopped autumn vegetables and shrimp
brined heritage pork loin stuffed with apricots and currants
balsamic and pomegranate glazed baby onions
roasted autumn vegetables
sweet potato puree
collard greens
brussel sprout hash with figs, bacon and lemon zest

My friend, the baker, made a shitload of amazing desserts. yum.

Not Again...

I haven't left my house since Wednesday.
I haven't showered since Thursday.

Hot or Not?

I have petted my roommate's cats, collectively, for around ninety-six hours.
I have let dishes (some from TD2009 still; no one stayed around to help me clean. At all.) take over the kitchen.
I am wearing sweat pants.

Hot or Not?

26 November 2009


I have 14 wait 4 wait 8 wait 9 people attending my dinner this year. Menu plans to follow. I have been reconsidering the merits of being a total self-centered narcissist who writes about himself. Rather, I am realizing I could write maybe four separate blogs under different names and they would all be super personal and completely different. I don't know what my point is. You may or may not be reading more of my writings in the future.

I'm starting to feel relatively normal for once, and by that I mean what I think normal feels like, if you take pills in the morning to get you going and pills at night to slow you down.

It's never a dull moment over here in my head.

Love to all eleven of my followers--sheesh--I'm such a STAR!

Don't forget--I do not want your blanket.

05 August 2009

Like a Fucking Unicorn

I had sex with an uncut, atheist Jew from Berkeley, California, Saturday night. That's all.

31 July 2009

No Advice Please

I had lunch with this cute Jewboy I picked up while locking my bike up a block away from the office.

I noticed him cruising me as I dismounted. I said, "Hi." He said, "Hi," and kept walking. Not enjoying asking myself "What if?" I shouted at him, "WHAT'S YOUR NAME?" He turned around and walked back. Good boy.

He's adorable, laughs like a stoner, and is moving with his boyfriend to Northern California in the Fall. Awesome! What makes it even better? His boyfriend leaves in two weeks. Perfect.

29 July 2009

I Think I Need to Change the Name of this Blog

Cory Koons is a sexworker. I read other sexworker blogs, and they're all about sex, or at least sexy.

This blog is the furthest thing from sexy.


I'm in Love

With a married man.

I am working crazy hours right now.

I get home, it's late, I'm stressed, I smoke some grass, and I don't want to face my adoring fans. Sadface.

It's raining like a motherfucker. Someone get those Native Americans to stop dancing!

I'm writing this from my office. For those of you that don't know, and I don't know why any of you would know, I am now working in the field of costume design for major motion pictures. There are lots of windows in the costume department, on the 12th floor. No building behind this one so I can see out. The lightning is amazing. I don't really want to get into it or I'll start to sound really out there.

But. We are all so insignificant. I do not mean that in a depressed, deprecating way--it's true. The sky. It's so big. Much bigger than we will ever be.

I'm a total narcissist. I have no self esteem. This is not uncommon, but I think my case is more severe than others.

Of course I do!

22 July 2009


Literally. I just realized it. My face ISN'T perfect! I was shocked at first, myself... But it makes sense, right? Nothing's perfect!

So yeah, the left side of my face is kinduva MASKFACE. Since it is the side of my face that emotes--I smirk, sneer, squint, raise eyebrow, almost exclusively on the left side, therefore aging it more quickly. The right side of my face, by comparison, is gorged over. The skin is smooth, the cheek rosy , the eye emotes and twinkles, the brow above is arched every slightly more elegantly, the mouth is simpering rather than sulking.

I thought I was totally immune to MASKFACE. It's urban legend that Kate Moss has been such a successful model solely because of her WONKFACE.

As my exbf/bff succinctly stated, "Everyone loves a dude that can suck your dick, look you in the eye AND gaze at your cock at the same time."

19 July 2009


I am a bit fried. Went to Fire Island over the weekend. Worked the door for my dear friend Rich King's SUMMERSNAXX party at the Ice Palace in Cherry Grove. It was a hoot. This is a pic of me before I became so krispy.

14 July 2009

Dinner for One

I prefer eating almost everything out of a wide, shallow bowl. The one I just at from has an empty crib at the bottom of a staircase, with a doll discarded on the floor. green and bone. depicting wood paneling. the lip is made to look like three pieces of curved wood nailed down.

13 July 2009

Pic from my Latest Porn Shoot

i thought you guys would be interested in what I look like these days...

When Will I Ever Shut Up?

This is a bit old but I figure it's worth posting.
Fun times. It seems like I know what I'm talking about at least a bit, right? Strangely, the editor of the article did some incorrect research and made me sound like more of an asspig than I really am (!!!)(first time I've ever said that). I have done a fisting movie, but as a top. I believe I was fisty von fistenbergs thirteenth fist.

I have a funny story about all of that, well now that I think about it a few related funny stories, which should be in a post titled Adventures in Fistysitting or My Dating Experiment. Both of these blog posts I may or may not write one day.


a free lunch.
bad publicity.
nuclear waste.
clean coal.
a natural disaster.
a stupid question.
a retired porn star.

Special thanks to Google's suggestions.

21 March 2009



the black party is tonight. iamsohungoveriwanttodie. geez this glamorous life can be so exhausting sometimes!

20 March 2009

The Hookies. TONITE! at Splash NYC

Hello to all my fans.

It has been a long time since I posted, especially since I started posting so regularly in February.

I wish I were more comfortable with attention. I understand there is a disconnect between my actions and my emotions sometimes (writing a blog, getting fucked onscreen, go-go dancing, bartending, fashion, are not necessarily the best things to do if you crave anonymity) but I really am trying to work it out.

It was a lot easier writing my heart out before I realized people were reading.

The Hookies are tonight. Thanks to all that voted for me for best ass. I am keeping my fingers (but not my legs) crossed.
info as follows:

The 3rd Annual International Escort Awards
"The Hookies"

Hosted by drag artist and singer
With special guests : Jonny "The Gay Pimp" McGovern, Michael Lucas, and more.
Live at SPLASH BAR & LOUNGE New York City
Friday Night / March 20th, 2009
Red Carpet: 8pm Awards Show: 9pm to 10:30pm
(Admission is Free until 10pm)

I will be there.

27 February 2009

Get Your Pocket Change Ready

And perhaps a sock to put it in, unless you'd rather throw it at me. I will be dancing bar top at MOOSEknuckle at The Hose tonight, in the East Village of good ol' NYC. 225 Ave B btw 13th and 14th upstairs from the liquor shop. It might look something like this:


1. you have had too much to drink or you ate some mushrooms (paper seems to be so hard to find these days, if anyone has a connection please PLEASE let me know)

2. I start to dance REALLY fast

25 February 2009

I Finally Fucked a Pageant Winner

Right after I had my intake with my new therapist.

A friend of mine owns a catering company. I work for him from time to time. Most of the time, I am awash in a sea of anonymity. Other times, there are nights like last night. Within fifteen minutes of the doors opening, I am spotted by someone I work with in my day job (I work in fashion. Appearance is everything. My porn career hasn't been too much of a hinderance as my appearance naked is quite nice.). He says, "Oh hi, so nice to see you. What are you doing here? Are you doing the PR for the event?"

I say, no, I'm picking up your dirty glasses. I contemplate lying for a second, but I am no good at that sort of thing.

He says, "You do what you have to do."

Maybe ten minutes later, the same thing happens to me. Again. At this point, I am mildly horrified.

Not a few moments after that, and a young stranger walks up to me and says hello to me, addressing me by my real name. I politely say hello, and he tells me he is a big fan of mine. As he used my real name, I am assuming he means my work in fashion. I ask him to clarify. He responds, "Your work, um, in movies..."

I ask him how he knows my real name. He tells me "Facebook. Mind if I take a photo of you?"

I smile pretty for the camera. I don't like to take bad photos. I know my angles.

He then says, "You do what you gotta do."


24 February 2009

I Cry for Attention

And I get it. Thanks guys. And you know what? I'm totally tired of talking about being depressed. Christ. Who isn't, especially now? Crap. Fantasies are not supposed to be doom and gloom (unless that is what gets your dick hard) and I have been a major boner kill. OK, so maybe my life has been a major boner kill, but that doesn't mean I have to become a boner kill.

Most importantly today, I have been nominated for "Best Ass" in the 3rd Annual Hookie Awards. Last year I was nominated for "Best Versatile Escort." Since the awards show is in my town, if I win, that means I will be there to make a speech. OMG. Who wants to hear that? I get chills just thinking about it. Follow the link to place your vote:


Thanks again guys, and please, tell all your friends, and vote as many times as you can!

19 February 2009

13 February 2009

What You Are Doing Tonight

Sorry for the late notice, but I am doing the dance tonight at the Eagle NYC, for Max Scott and Mark Nelson's V-Day party, the Stag Ball.

There will be other, more famous porn stars there that are in better shape than me. The bonus is that I will be messier, cheaper, and drunker than anyone!!!

12 February 2009

I think I'm Lonely

Ah. I remember what the purpose of this post was now! Feelings of disconnection with society. That's what makes us rebels, right? We don't feel attached or like we have things in common with "normal" people and therefore seek ways to expand our reach, right? I think I could write a whole book on this.

Group therapy didn't work for me. Hearing other people tell their stories actually made me feel more and more alienated. Does feeling alienated and feeling like an alien mean the same thing?

11 February 2009

the name is cory koons, don't forget it

10 Feb 2009, 14:13
tktk: fucking HAWTTTTTTTTTT!!!
i know i know u from porn, but cant for the life of me remember ur name.
hottie asian boi pussy getting banged bb is so fucking HOTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!
im in love...

11 Feb 2009, 01:30
You: i haven't been gang banged bb... in a movie though?!?!?HMPH!

thanks for the compliments. i don't like to think of my hole as an asian boi pussy though.

private password attached: mrkoons

09 February 2009


I had it this weekend. I know many of you out there probably think that I have a huge, gaping hole. But let me tell you, it did not feel huge or gaping this weekend. It's very strange. I don't quite get it myself. For someone such as myself, there should be less... resistance. I almost feel like a superhero after they get their superpowers taken away. I still think I can do certain things, but then I hurt myself. Ow.

06 February 2009


I haven't felt that in six months. but God Damn.

PS This morning I woke up in a pool of sweat with a racing heart. I dreamt I was running a six minute mile, something I haven't done since my cross country days in high school. You think I was just born with these thighs?

My Next Tattoo

with a few minor changes

I am going to have sex this weekend

and I will write about it. I promise.

so if you google image me...

after several pages, artworks by Jeff Koons pop up. and if you happened to google "cory jeff koons," pictures of us pop up next to each other. I started serious work on a series of diptychs. very exciting.

05 February 2009

I woke up punching the wall.

My sleeping nook is just that. three walls spaced far enough apart to barely fit a queen-size mattress, half a flight of stairs up from my closet and bathroom. I have never punched walls in my sleep until now. Interesting.

On another note, I have been reading other porn star's blogs out there this AM, and I realized that they are all sex addicts that talk about sex a lot. I guess, a lot like how I used to be. What happened, you ask? I'm working on it.

29 January 2009

Bottom Chef

I had a dream I was a contestant on "Top Chef" this morning. This is my sleep pattern. Do not fall asleep. Do not fall asleep. Sleep uneasily. Wake up in a panic around 8 or 9am. Go soundly back to sleep. Sound sleep is interrupted by active, lucid dreaming. Wake up at noon, another failure.

I was in the final three this time. It was in New York City. The challenge was to create a dish based around a locavore protein. I chose wild striped bass. there was some sort of foraged blackberry sauce, and an updated take on a melon ball salad with mint and jicama. Really, though, the genius is forgotten. It's like in Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion when she dreams and she knows the molecular formula of the glue for Post-It© notes, but when she wakes up she doesn't remember.

Am I the cute one?

26 January 2009

January 26 is the new January 1

I vacuumed today. they say that completing simple house chores is therapeutic for people suffering from depression.

02 January 2009

January 2 is the New January 1

I must leave my quarters soon. I live in the basement of an old seminary. It is hard to leave sometimes. I am excited about a new year. woo!