It's been a while since I've written anything here, but I've been busy, and I've been doing a lot of thinking, as I will explain. I've had some life changes (scientology, sobriety, celibacy [fuck, I love alliteration, it's my one of my favorites]) and then I woke up and realized that nope, it's still the same ol' me.
To make long, boring stories less long and less boring, I'll just sum things up quickly: I believe that me writing this blog has hurt my career in porn and as a performer. I have mentioned names in this blog and given my opinions about things that other people have taken out of context and used against me. I read an article about a woman who worked as a beauty editor at a magazine and had a blog (anonymous, mind you, not like this one where my name [name?] is all over it) where she wrote some things about the beauty/fashion/magazine industry, and when people found out who she was, guess what happened? That's right folks, she was fired! Fortunately, for me, as a freelance porn model, I can't really get fired from anything, especially since my fifteen minutes is over and there are no upcoming offers, but I believe that if it wasn't over before now, it is now. I have, on this blog, never set out to hurt anyone or defame any names, let alone my own, and I feel I have done that, and foolishly so. I am not proud of that. In short, I've underestimated what written words can do, much like I've underestimated what starring in gay fuck films can do. I think I have inadvertently burned some bridges. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, and I've tried not to dwell on it as it probably won't be very significant one way or the other.
Now that I have that off my chest, I would like to set the record straight about Raging Stallion. For any of you that have taken any of my posts as depicting Raging Stallion in a less than rosey light, let me tell you that of all the companies I've worked for, I can say that I've enjoyed working with them the most, and I mean that. I feel that they have taken a chance with me that no other studio has been willing to do. I've always had a great time making movies with them, and I think they've showcased me the best. My favorite movies are all Raging Stallion. I have a personal aesthetic that is very strong and very important to me. I've always said that my top three attributes (in no specific order) are my eyes, my ass and my hair. That's all. I wouldn't have liked it if I had to put fake colored contacts or if they made me seat on a wicker chair naked before a scene either.
I think I have cleared all that up now. Now, I have to say that we all need to take this a little less seriously. I write everything tongue in cheek, with a SENSE OF HUMOR. It's meant to be a joke. Cory Koons is a personality, not a person. Cory likes to have a piss take. He likes to push people's buttons. He's obnoxious, a little annoying at times. He's a total sex pig pervert. He likes to have a good time. He's not a drug addict my any means. He's not insensitive or mean or bitchy or racist or stupid at all. He's pretty fucking smart, he just has a strong opinion about things that generally differ from other peoples'. His point of departure isn't Jenna Jameson or Jeff Stryker, but Jeff Koons or fuck I don't know, ask him.
So, nice to be back, assholes! Hope ya missed me! Plus, my life has been so crazy that I have to talk about it to someone, somewhere, and it's not like I have any friends I haven't alienated already! ! !
31 October 2005
So much happened last week that I honestly don't even know where to start. I feel like last week really announced the return of Cory Koons, even though I'm thinking about renaming him Corky Goons. Last week was one of those hyperactive, busy as hell, about to fall over and die, totally lose it, coming down with a cold, wearing five hats, working during the day and in nightclubs, etc. Crazy it was. I started to snap. And I'm sure that you can all imagine that me snapping is no small thing nor is it very pleasant for those involved. So upsetting. OK, I lie, it wasn't upsetting. It felt great, every single person that gave me a reason, forced me to lose my temper, IT FELT AMAZING. I really wish I did it more often. Just thinking about it now makes me hope that the dry cleaning fucked up my Alexander Mcqueen sweater. I'm a bad person. I'm a bad person. I'm a bad person. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. . .