Finally, I Have a Computer

So I can google myself incessantly, hoping for something else that popped up.  I read up on all the new hot shit porn starts that are way hotter than me and have way more followers, and I get down on myself, and think, hmph, if one of 2007s biggest non-blogged gay porn stories was that I was quitting, espcially after such a promising year, maybe I should not have quit.  I did sortofthesamethinginfashion too.  That hunger is coming back to me finally, to be hot shit, and I think it's happening.  I just went through some heavy cathartic emotions that culminated in the trimming of a year's worth of growth off my head and chin.  I look clean cut, youthful, and, in my opinion, like a fucking pig bottom.

It totally changed things...  my haircut.  I knew it would.  I have been getting it good all week long.  I am  coming to terms with not being vanilla.  Like, every time a dude fucks me and pulls out and shoots all over my hole and pushes some in and out I guess I never think it is weird to get it all in my mouth or ass and clean his dick off till it sparkles.  I always thought it was good manners but apparently it's piggy.  In any case, I found myself apologizing for this the other day.  This is like the time I apologized for drinking this guys pee that I went home with.  Like, if you're down there and someone is pissing, and all the piss is going in your mouth and you are gargling it and slurping it down like a greedy piss pig, you shouldn't say,

"You know, it's so funny I'm doing this because I don't usually do this.  I'm sorry.  It's kinda weird.  But you're just so hot."

You know what I might as well say?

"I am a dirty slut.  Since you are still here I gather you figured that out already."

 The other thing that happens to me during sex that makes me feel slutty is when guys first put their dick in.  So the way I was trained...  pain during anal sex is 95% mental.  If you think a dick is going to hurt your ass, if you think your ass is going to clench down on it, it will hurt.  I had this guy the other day say something like, 

OK, I'm gonna pound you, so you can either relax your hole and enjoy it or tense it up and make it hurt.  Either way I'm still gonna pound the shit out of you.  

So what the fuck do I do?  I ENJOY IT.  So when guys fuck me they expect they have to go all easy at first.  Generally, I become so giddy when I know I'm going to get fucked that my giddiness turns to greediness and I want it all in, to the balls, and squirming around on the base in two seconds flat.  Which makes people think I'm a sloppy whole.  But it's not.  I just have really good muscle control and once I know a dick is going in my ass my ass does everything it can to welcome that dick in.  I also apologize (sorry! in a tiny voice) if I accidentally kick my tops dick out of my ass.  I legitimately think that is really rude.  

Got fucked by another big fat dick today.  That was nice.  I'm starting to like sex again.  And you know what, I'm good at it.