THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS...

a free lunch.
bad publicity.
nuclear waste.
love.
clean coal.
society.
a natural disaster.
a stupid question.
race.
coincidence.
a retired porn star.

Special thanks to Google's suggestions.

I'M A WEINER!

I MEAN WINNER!

the black party is tonight. iamsohungoveriwanttodie. geez this glamorous life can be so exhausting sometimes!

The Hookies. TONITE! at Splash NYC

Hello to all my fans.

It has been a long time since I posted, especially since I started posting so regularly in February.

I wish I were more comfortable with attention. I understand there is a disconnect between my actions and my emotions sometimes (writing a blog, getting fucked onscreen, go-go dancing, bartending, fashion, are not necessarily the best things to do if you crave anonymity) but I really am trying to work it out.

It was a lot easier writing my heart out before I realized people were reading.

The Hookies are tonight. Thanks to all that voted for me for best ass. I am keeping my fingers (but not my legs) crossed.
info as follows:

The 3rd Annual International Escort Awards
"The Hookies"

Hosted by drag artist and singer
Shequida
With special guests : Jonny "The Gay Pimp" McGovern, Michael Lucas, and more.
Live at SPLASH BAR & LOUNGE New York City
Friday Night / March 20th, 2009
Red Carpet: 8pm Awards Show: 9pm to 10:30pm
(Admission is Free until 10pm)

I will be there.

Get Your Pocket Change Ready

And perhaps a sock to put it in, unless you'd rather throw it at me. I will be dancing bar top at MOOSEknuckle at The Hose tonight, in the East Village of good ol' NYC. 225 Ave B btw 13th and 14th upstairs from the liquor shop. It might look something like this:



If

1. you have had too much to drink or you ate some mushrooms (paper seems to be so hard to find these days, if anyone has a connection please PLEASE let me know)

2. I start to dance REALLY fast

I Finally Fucked a Pageant Winner

Right after I had my intake with my new therapist.

A friend of mine owns a catering company. I work for him from time to time. Most of the time, I am awash in a sea of anonymity. Other times, there are nights like last night. Within fifteen minutes of the doors opening, I am spotted by someone I work with in my day job (I work in fashion. Appearance is everything. My porn career hasn't been too much of a hinderance as my appearance naked is quite nice.). He says, "Oh hi, so nice to see you. What are you doing here? Are you doing the PR for the event?"

I say, no, I'm picking up your dirty glasses. I contemplate lying for a second, but I am no good at that sort of thing.

He says, "You do what you have to do."

Maybe ten minutes later, the same thing happens to me. Again. At this point, I am mildly horrified.

Not a few moments after that, and a young stranger walks up to me and says hello to me, addressing me by my real name. I politely say hello, and he tells me he is a big fan of mine. As he used my real name, I am assuming he means my work in fashion. I ask him to clarify. He responds, "Your work, um, in movies..."

I ask him how he knows my real name. He tells me "Facebook. Mind if I take a photo of you?"

I smile pretty for the camera. I don't like to take bad photos. I know my angles.

He then says, "You do what you gotta do."

Mortifying.

I Cry for Attention

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To My Adoring Fans:

Do I have any left?

What You Are Doing Tonight

Sorry for the late notice, but I am doing the dance tonight at the Eagle NYC, for Max Scott and Mark Nelson's V-Day party, the Stag Ball.



There will be other, more famous porn stars there that are in better shape than me. The bonus is that I will be messier, cheaper, and drunker than anyone!!!

I think I'm Lonely

Ah. I remember what the purpose of this post was now! Feelings of disconnection with society. That's what makes us rebels, right? We don't feel attached or like we have things in common with "normal" people and therefore seek ways to expand our reach, right? I think I could write a whole book on this.

Group therapy didn't work for me. Hearing other people tell their stories actually made me feel more and more alienated. Does feeling alienated and feeling like an alien mean the same thing?

the name is cory koons, don't forget it

10 Feb 2009, 14:13
tktk: fucking HAWTTTTTTTTTT!!!
i know i know u from porn, but cant for the life of me remember ur name.
hottie asian boi pussy getting banged bb is so fucking HOTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!
im in love...

11 Feb 2009, 01:30
You: i haven't been gang banged bb... in a movie though?!?!?HMPH!

thanks for the compliments. i don't like to think of my hole as an asian boi pussy though.

private password attached: mrkoons

SEX

I had it this weekend. I know many of you out there probably think that I have a huge, gaping hole. But let me tell you, it did not feel huge or gaping this weekend. It's very strange. I don't quite get it myself. For someone such as myself, there should be less... resistance. I almost feel like a superhero after they get their superpowers taken away. I still think I can do certain things, but then I hurt myself. Ow.

I NEED RELEASE

I haven't felt that in six months. but God Damn.

PS This morning I woke up in a pool of sweat with a racing heart. I dreamt I was running a six minute mile, something I haven't done since my cross country days in high school. You think I was just born with these thighs?

My Next Tattoo

with a few minor changes

I am going to have sex this weekend

and I will write about it. I promise.

so if you google image me...

after several pages, artworks by Jeff Koons pop up. and if you happened to google "cory jeff koons," pictures of us pop up next to each other. I started serious work on a series of diptychs. very exciting.

I woke up punching the wall.

My sleeping nook is just that. three walls spaced far enough apart to barely fit a queen-size mattress, half a flight of stairs up from my closet and bathroom. I have never punched walls in my sleep until now. Interesting.

On another note, I have been reading other porn star's blogs out there this AM, and I realized that they are all sex addicts that talk about sex a lot. I guess, a lot like how I used to be. What happened, you ask? I'm working on it.

Bottom Chef

I had a dream I was a contestant on "Top Chef" this morning. This is my sleep pattern. Do not fall asleep. Do not fall asleep. Sleep uneasily. Wake up in a panic around 8 or 9am. Go soundly back to sleep. Sound sleep is interrupted by active, lucid dreaming. Wake up at noon, another failure.

I was in the final three this time. It was in New York City. The challenge was to create a dish based around a locavore protein. I chose wild striped bass. there was some sort of foraged blackberry sauce, and an updated take on a melon ball salad with mint and jicama. Really, though, the genius is forgotten. It's like in Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion when she dreams and she knows the molecular formula of the glue for Post-It© notes, but when she wakes up she doesn't remember.

Am I the cute one?

January 26 is the new January 1

I vacuumed today. they say that completing simple house chores is therapeutic for people suffering from depression.

January 2 is the New January 1

I must leave my quarters soon. I live in the basement of an old seminary. It is hard to leave sometimes. I am excited about a new year. woo!

portraits

by Paul Sepuya