Honestly

Right now I really want to write something, but I know that I'm getting picked up at should be here by now and I'm just writing this because I didn't have time earlier due to a houseguest so I'm trying really hard to rack my brain trying to write something right now so I thought I would just write about that but these tricks can only be undertaken every so often so I should really be saving them for when my life actually is boring and there's nothing to write about versus being too lazy to edit down what has happened since I've last been typing this shit.

I will say that the haircut I got in San Francisco sucked and I'm going to have to get it fixed by my hairdresser here in New York (I just blew it out and it looks kinda funny, and not in a good way. I got the haircut three weeks ago and by this time Richard's haircuts look better than they did when he first cut it, instead I once again look like an old lady with a set hairdo).

And on another note, I've had pretty amazing sex two days in a row, and it's real nice. I'm actually in a better mood, and my skin looks better (or maybe it was my $50 tanning session and no it wasn't spray on OMG I totally forgot! ! !)

SO, I FINALLY JUST REMEMBERED THIS FUNNY THING THAT HAPPENED TO ME(and my friends aren't here to pick me up yet so I must write on. . .the powers of writing about nothing!)--I went to this tanning place next to my gym the other day. I already have a tanning package over at another place, with a low-pressure stand-up bed, but in SF I had a high-pressure tan session and it was amazing. I also had one in Bakersfield, CA after I got back from Hawaii and I swear to god it was the darkest I've ever been. Anyways, so they have this bed that's $59 a session, but the package was buy five get two free get three free today as a thanks for joining and you get ten percent off for working out at crunch so after deliberation I decided to go for it (and also I had a date with a very hot very sexy mixed black/native american/irish man last night and didn't want people to look at us funny ha ha ha oh I know that's terrible) and I invested the most money I've ever spent in my life all in one big tanning shebang so as I'm signing my C/C slip I see a bottle of tanning shit that has a name on it, "Corey Feldman." I chuckle, think it's a joke, and ask the lady if it's for real. She kinda tells me to shush and says "He's right there behind you."

WHOA! ! ! I don't know about you, but that's a whole lotta dreamboat Cory/Corey action goin' on over there at California Tans. Fuck man, my dirty little tanning secret is out, and Corey Feldman is plastered all over it.