March 24

I woke up and turned a trick, then met my ex-boyfriend for an amazing lunch at the Spotted Pig. We shared deviled eggs, a dozen oysters, a fried duck egg and bacon salad, and pan fried calves liver with crispy pancetta, all washed down with a couple pints of speckled hen beer. I started crying during the calves liver because he left me. Then we shared a cheese plate. Then I went home and cried some more, slept off some of my food coma, and got ready to meet my best girlfriend and her boyfriend for dinner at Blue Ribbon Bakery. We toasted over a bottle of Veuve Cliquot and proceeded to share a dozen oysters, steamed clams, roasted whole garlic, roasted chorizo, and a green bean salad, and I followed that with some sweetbreads with a grilled onion compote and fennel and herb salad. This was followed by ordering every dessert off the menu and a nice cognac. After that, I ran home, douched myself clean and met a trick that wanted to be fisted. I fisted him and fucked him, then fisted and fucked him, then he fucked me, then I fisted him, then he fucked me till he came, apologizing that he usually lasted longer. Then I went home and to bed, by myself. Happy Birthday.