08 August 2007

(Finally) It's Happened to Me

I was in my mom's backyard today sunning myself reading the new Harry Potter book and lost track of time. My tan is so fierce until I turn around, exposing a red red red back and for the first time in my life, red red red red motherfucking thighs. The small bikini protected my ass. I am going to look so funny on film. NOT THE LOOK two days before your comeback porno.

I used to quietly pride myself on being an atypical porn star. I'd secretly laugh at the guys with Hitler moustache pubeys and bright red skin from the tanning bed. I bought a body trimmer two days ago when I was at Target with my mom (HOW GAY) and now this. . . All I can ask now is

1. When are my steroids going to kick in?

2. When will I do my first fisting movie?

3. When will I do my first bareback movie?

Those are the only two I mean three things that can happen at this point, right?

4. Where will my first large tribal piece be located?

So I was wrong. Let's think here, there must be other, funnier things I left out.

5. ??? Help me out dear readers. . .

6 comments:

Queer Porn Nation said...

I'm so glad you're back!

I'm looking forward to your Ink Storm scene with Tober Brandt and hopefully more blogs from you.

daniel said...

Well here's hoping it's more tribal than biohazard... :P

It was definitely weird seeing Brandon Lee come back as a bottom.

tribalqueer said...

let me know if you need a good tat artist that specializes in indigenous /tribal design.

and yes. i can't wait to see you in a bareback movie.

Leffe said...

Smearing yourself in yoghurt is the best way to deal with sunburn, although I am sure a good fisting would take your mind off sunburn pain..... I would be interested to know if you actually did any of the 1-4 after being bright red..... I am blessed with birhgt white skin, so know what its like to have sun burn!

Anonymous said...

i juat have to tell you how beautiful i think you are

kdca1979 said...

i just have to tell you how beautiful i think you are