I was in my mom's backyard today sunning myself reading the new Harry Potter book and lost track of time. My tan is so fierce until I turn around, exposing a red red red back and for the first time in my life, red red red red motherfucking thighs. The small bikini protected my ass. I am going to look so funny on film. NOT THE LOOK two days before your comeback porno.
I used to quietly pride myself on being an atypical porn star. I'd secretly laugh at the guys with Hitler moustache pubeys and bright red skin from the tanning bed. I bought a body trimmer two days ago when I was at Target with my mom (HOW GAY) and now this. . . All I can ask now is
1. When are my steroids going to kick in?
2. When will I do my first fisting movie?
3. When will I do my first bareback movie?
Those are the only two I mean three things that can happen at this point, right?
4. Where will my first large tribal piece be located?
So I was wrong. Let's think here, there must be other, funnier things I left out.
5. ??? Help me out dear readers. . .
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6 comments:
I'm so glad you're back!
I'm looking forward to your Ink Storm scene with Tober Brandt and hopefully more blogs from you.
Well here's hoping it's more tribal than biohazard... :P
It was definitely weird seeing Brandon Lee come back as a bottom.
let me know if you need a good tat artist that specializes in indigenous /tribal design.
and yes. i can't wait to see you in a bareback movie.
Smearing yourself in yoghurt is the best way to deal with sunburn, although I am sure a good fisting would take your mind off sunburn pain..... I would be interested to know if you actually did any of the 1-4 after being bright red..... I am blessed with birhgt white skin, so know what its like to have sun burn!
i juat have to tell you how beautiful i think you are
i just have to tell you how beautiful i think you are
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