04 August 2007

Bakersfield Gay Bar

Lesbians go out so much more in small towns. PS I'm back home now. I went to a gay bar last night and it was mainly lesbethnic. So hot. And they come in packs. Also, I never realized that they came in so many different sizes. There'd be a group of girls, all looking like Da Brat, and they would range it height from 6'0" to 4'11", I shit you not, and there would be five of them, all dressed like Da ("All juiced up/that comes naturally") Brat.

The music was pure, unadulterated, guilty pleasure hip hop and pop. The lesbians ground like nothing I've seen before. I was extremely disappointed that none of the janky trannies did runway.

There was slim pickings for me, but the bartender I used to hump was still bartending. My sister found the two straight guys in the bar (some things run in the family), her boyfriend set me up with the hottest guy there, and we went back to my sister's to hang out, drink dirty martinis, smoke Marlboro Reds and pot, skinny dip, whirlpool bath, and discover that the hottest guy in the bar I brought home not only had a dirty ass (but a cute one), but a teeny tiny dick. Recounting the events to my boyfriend (I mean ex) today, he asked me why I didn't check his dick at the bar, like I usually do.

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