19 April 2006

Free Jeans

This is what I have to look forward to in life: Free Jeans. As I work at a magazine, and as I work in fashion, I basically work for free. As a fashion editor, though, the perks are free things, commonly referred to as swag by everyone else but me. These things, this shit, as I like to call it, consist of but are not limited to, XL t-shirts (hi, faggot fashion editors are not XL), rapper alarm clocks, ugly shoes, canvas tote bags, small bottles of new PREMIUM liquor, and last but not least, Free Jeans. I get so many goddamned jeans I could clothe fucking Africa in original selvedge ringspun Japanese denim. Most of them look the same, too, and strangely, jeans in the $100-$200 range are much nicer than jeans in the $300-$500 range, which consist mostly of such hand-finished details as hand-painted whiskers, hand-stitched back pockets, embroidered bullshit, resin coating, hand-painted whiskers ON TOP of 3-D whiskers, hand-sanding, hand-holing, and hand-balling (FUCK YEAH! [oh that's a joke BTW]). Today, I got a free pair of jeans AND an XL electric blue pima cotton t-shirt. And tonight, after the parties I'll probably have an additional free pair of pumps! Throw this in and a salary that amounts to barely above minimum wage, and you get a grumpy ass man. As I was telling a cute, yet not so smart friend of mine, "I literally make my salary a year in free shit."

"Coooool!" he replied.

"No, not cool dude, I make less than my rent a month."

"Oh dude, sorry. So what do you do with all that free stuff?"


jack said...

That's some funny shit, CK.

I bought a faggy vase off ebay a few months ago and it came broken. I looked up the seller's info and recognized his name from when I used to write CD reviews -- he was a publicist for music PR house in NYC and all his other auctions consisted of him selling literally HUNDREDS of promo CDs of his clients (lots of negative feedback from outraged people who thought they were getting the retail version of the CD -- not the stamped-out press copy.)

So make Lemonaide? Surely eBay can help you make your rent via some Superlover-loving Japanese teen?

Anonymous said...

As an outsider looking in on your life, this shit is hilarious. Probably more so because of the way you described it. But, really, what DO you do with all that free crap??

john said...

How's the boyfriend life? Move to Jersey yet?

Anonymous said...

Hot guy...but now you're gone! Oh well...was a good read while it lasted.

ExHack said...

If you have time, you can always sell the unwanted swag/krap on eBay. I make $400-800/month reselling clothing. Might help, might not, just a thought :)

Anonymous said...

Well Corey, I checked out our blog after reading your interview about accused murderer Marcus Allen/Timothy Boham on GayPornBlog. You got some notoriety there, which might ultimately help your financial situation-- honestly. You're a bright guy, and you seem to enjoy being who you are and doing what you do at least most of the time. You could be very successful if you considred the financial side of your career. Of course, that depends on whether it matters. It would be interesting if you made a vid with Michael Lucas.

Anonymous said...

I have been interested in this theme for a long time and it was insulting for me that during development of technologies, I still search for the information offline. With the advent of your site I have plunged with all my soul into Internet.
- corykoons.blogspot.com 5
spaghetti alla carbonara

Anonymous said...

You're a great looking guy. And you're smart and reflective too. That's cool. I don't ever want to see you become a Joey Stefano or Kyle McKenna. Their mind and body were literally used up by powertripping men/control freaks feeding them lies that they must maintain their status as superbottom at all cost.

If you don't need those jeans, sell them on ebay under a pseudonym. Why not? I imagine a lot of other people do.

Take care.

brett.peace said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

You don't send me some jeans for free:D??? If you want send me some jeans send me an email to vlad_activ@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

Companies House Webcheck
Webcheck Companies House

[url=http://perosnalbinking.v3host.be/companies-house-webcheck.html]companies house webcheck service[/url]