Something Strange is Happening

I don't know what's going on, but I cannot get laid to save my life. It's not like I'm picky, either. You'd think that after a night of go-go dancing, I'd have my pick, but noooooooo, another night alone. I finally had to bust out my trusty dildoes and go to town on myself earlier. Maybe if I rub my ball sweat all over my face and neck. . .