I am an Addict

Maybe you have guessed I am head over heels in love currently.  My mind is literally exploding with lightning bolt idea after idea.  My lover has left town for work for a few weeks, so I will hopefully be able to execute them all in this time.

I  am returning to my art roots.  He is an artist.  We will make art together.  I have a dream again. 

And of course, it has made me conflicted about my porn career, which seems like it will be taking off again very shortly.  Shocking, right, since I tend to be a total uncompromising (in my morals) bad-ass?

I am making love again.  I forgot how amazing it is.  It's like having sex fucked up on crystal or crack.  I guess this is what is conflicting me:  My sexuality feels so BRIGHT right now, but it seems like male sexuality is becoming increasingly darker and darker.

 I do not equate hot sex with worshiping Satan.  I do not think my cum is the seed of Satan.  I guess part of it is that I do not believe in, well, um, ANY organized religion, but why can't my cum be the sweet nectar that unicorns like to lap up? 

I am aware I have a tattoo of Satan on my arm, but in my world Satan is a very dapper gentleman, perhaps a little fey, and he loves bichon frises. 

Here's a pic of me sucking his big fat dick (as if you had to ask).  It curves a bit up, is wider than it is deep, if that makes sense, and every time I choke on it, get it down my throat, tears streaming, throat slime everywhere, he makes these adorable noises like he can't even believe people can deep throat his dick like that.  And I'm sweating and gagging and gnawing on it with my molars, he kisses me and sucks the spit and precum out of my mouth and spits it back in mine, and it is so sweet and tender
and loving.  I think I'm going to paint it.