As You May Have Guessed

I hate the holidays. Riding home from my Christmas Eve dinner. Ahem. Solstice celebratory dinner, riding my bike in the snow, car honk honk honk honk. I catch up with them at the next light and hawk up a big ol' chunk o' phlegm and it lands right on the driver window. This was accompanied by a very loud "FUUUUUUCK YOOOOOUUUUUU." My xxmas present to myself.

I Am on a Roll

It's back, it's rolling (and I mean on a role, not a euphemism for taking MDMA).

NOTE: I often refer to things as "it," it has nothing to do with me trivializing things or disrespecting things and turning them into a non-being; I just do it with all of it--you, her/him, us, we, me... it does what it does and it actually has a point... it may be vague at times but don't get it twisted, it could be a situation.

Special thanks to Q & E for the vernacular.

The first"it" in this post refers to "it" as me.

I've closed two bars in a row... why are there so man seksy guys all of a sudden that think I'm hot? My hair is long now and faggots aren't supposed to like long hair.

Wasted, drunky, I feel like I am giving an awards acceptance speech. RK, AC, FCS, MA, LF, KA, JC & HH, SE, and of course I would be nothing without DK.

The Best

I just de-fatted the best chicken stock I have ever made. The only other chicken stock that has come close is a method for quick chicken stock using a whole chopped up chicken that is browned and "sweated" with sautéed onion before adding water. It always seemed like a waste to use the chicken meat only for the stock, as the meat could be used as kitty litter it is so dry.

For the most delicious chicken stock such as that in my pantry, I took two approaches to the bird. First, I used a variation of a method for preparing Hainanese chicken rice by dropping the bird into enough boiling salted water to cover it by an inch or so. Roughly chopped celery, carrot, onion, bay leaf, peppercorn, and one dried red chili. I let it come back to almost a boil, covered it, heat on low for fifteen minutes then I turned the heat off and let it poach for another forty-five minutes or so. I removed the poached chicken and dropped it into a colander over a bowl. After the chicken cooled a bit, I shredded the chicken from the bone, being pretty messy about it (there will be a lot of dark meat still attached to questionably textured (fat is not supposed to be crunchy unless it is fried!) fat so do what you want. I reserve all the pulled chicken meat for stuff (mmm chicken salad, myriad pastas, or DOY make chicken soup!) and throw everything else back in the pot, bring it up to an almost boil and throw it in a 250° oven overnight. Strain, at least twice, when you wake up.

Poaching the chicken in water starts the stock off with a strong chicken flavor so when the carcass goes back in it doesn't have to do much work, but it does all night. The other great thing about poaching the chicken is you can add any aromatics you want--say you were going to make a Thai-style chicken soup--you can start off poaching the chicken with lemongrass, ginger, chili, and lime leaf.

Woo. so exciting.

I've Been Sick

When I'm sick I'm miserable and annoying, and this sickytime was really annoying. I am getting rid of... brace yourself... a REALLY BAD COLD. That's all. No swine flu. No cat scratch fever. Low-grade fever, headache, that was all I had. I felt crappy enough to not want to do anything at all. For a week. wah. OK well I'm well enough now to venture outside (scary, but at least it's dark out)--oh yeah, this severe cold was so annoying that it gave me zits. annoying. I hate little things that mark my imperfection. the nerve! So I'm going to some Christmas-y thing put together by two friends (and past and present crushes, one of which could have been mine had it not been for RK) and I'm thinking of either looking really handsome and manly and gorgeous or like this,



but with jeans on over the union-suit. The sweater above is my dedicated holiday sweater on its 1st Manhattan outing (it had a trial run over to dinner in Brooklyn). I think it's a winner. It's 100% acrylic made in korea. kinda amazing. I guess I should shower now as the party has already started.

It Takes Four Hours...

...from the time I eat quinoa to the time it comes out my ass in the same birdseed-looking bits. Hmph.

Old Dogs, New Tricks

So I fucked the hell out of this guy yesterday... and I was shocked at how much I liked it. He was vers but couldn't really keep it up all that well and mine was rock hard so hey! I received a fleshlight in some gift bag about a year ago, and thought it was pure novelty. A friend of mine told me, "Do your dick a favor and go home right now and use it."

To be honest, I've never been one for getting blowjobs or fucking--I think my chronic masturbation without lube until I started having actual sex created some sort of hypersensitivity that would make me lose my hardon, of course, unless I'm getting fucked. Back to the fleshlight. Holy fuck. Wow. That's what they're for. Fast forward a few months, I'm plowing this dude and liking it. And then I realized:

Fucking someone is like jerking off but using their asshole instead of your hand.

Why didn't anyone tell me this sooner?

Kitten Photo Shoot

that's what I did this morning with my stoney brainiac queer roommate and her two big fat, stunning, cats. and now...