CORY KOONS' BLOG

I Make Something Pretty

2011-04-23T04:11:00.000-04:00

I started a tumblr page. I really like it so far. perhaps you will too. it's not very porn-y. It's my perception of my surroundings with an homage to what I take our nationalism for. Please follow me. Please encourage others to have a look.

http://kinkashinkamerika.tumblr.com/
http://kinkashinkamerika.tumblr.com/

I'm also trying my hand at poetry:

sneaky ninja snail
crime scene lines, baneful, beware:
bubbles blot blobs, bliss!

writing haikus run in in my family.

2011-04-23T03:47:00.000-04:00

It's Like Breaking Up

2011-04-22T01:49:00.000-04:00

A wise man once taught me it's best to sleep on it. BACK TO THE DRAFTING TABLE!

My Pits Smell Like Cum

2011-04-22T01:36:00.000-04:00

I spent the weekend with a handsome whip-smart guy. The crush has been mutual and years-long. I had a great time. It was very sweet, relaxing, almost romantic. The problem: for some reason or another, we only had sex once. I was certainly holding back for some reason... Oh yeah, that's right, the whole sickening combination of sex and intimacy!

In any case, I get home and my pits are smelling more. If I sleep overnight with a guy my pits always smell more. My testosterone is raging. I get another load in me, and it just makes me more crazed. I make plans to meet a guy off the interwebs at a new cruising ground I had never heard of. I am in the boonies. I drive out where the road ends into a bigger road onto a side road along I-5, past the river and into a parking lot by the bike path (who knew the bike path went this far, and what did fags do without nature paths?) His described car is there. I get out of my car and walk towards the path and the bushes, see him, and walk through the thorns.

We pull our dicks out after a bit of small talk about how there are no truckers or oil field workers looking for blowjobs before they go home today. I get on my knees and start sucking his cock. I'm impressed how big it gets. Then he starts sucking my dick, giving me a great blowjob, flips me around and starts eating my ass till he decides to fuck me for a while. Every now and then I turn around to suck his dick off and give him a kiss. Then he tells me to shoot, boy. I shoot a huge load all over my jeans around my ankles, the dirt, and my boots. I scoop up some of the cum, feed it to him and me and we start making out. When he gets close he asks me where I want the cum. Initially I get on my knees facing him but realize I'd rather have it in my ass (duh) so I flip around and he rams his dick in my ass and shoots his load. I make sure to milk every last drop. I taste it on his dick and from my ass. Pants up and back to cars. A bit of small talk, a "by the way, what's your name?" and I'm back in my car. Total time: 15 minute?

I didn't shower for a couple days afterwards. I swear to god my pits smelled like cum.

At My Fighting Weight

2011-02-07T00:03:00.001-05:00

Mind you, this was last summer. I fucked my hip up in November and have barely been able to walk, let alone lift weights. But hot damn, I looked good! Tomorrow afternoon I'm getting a cortisone shot and I can't even tell you how excited I am.

Since I'm Popular Again

2011-02-07T00:01:00.000-05:00

My immediate reaction is to retreat, and I have definitely retreated in the past couple months. It hasn't all been my doing: any time I start to become able to stand on my own two feet, life decides to knock me the fuck down. When I started doing porn again I promised myself to be a normal porn

s̶t̶a̶r̶ model and only talk about my hot sexual encounters and hot sexy things...  but that is just not what I am good at.  Le sigh.  Back to more stories of depressing encounters.  Aren't you excited?

How Do I Really Feel?

2011-01-18T19:18:00.001-05:00

A new interview is up on the MOC blog, because, yes, in this world, if there is a fraction of you that is not white, you are automatically colored folk. I cut and pasted it below, but please check out the original posting, and the blog in all of it's essential glory here:

http://menofcolor.blogs.com/moc_blog/2011/01/cory-koons-unscripted.html#more

Cory Koons, Unscripted

Whatever I thought I knew about Cory Koons, I was sufficiently uninformed. The problem I had - and that I often have with gay porn performers -is that I can only glean so much from their on-screen personas (for me, everything) and many times - but certainly not always - what information there is on someone is cold and impersonal, stats or disinterested interviews conducted by those with too few questions or too little time, who can't get performers to break out of themselves because they have to answer questions like, "So, is it true you're named after your pet's first gall stone? Shut up!" But then it doesn't get much deeper than that. (Personal blogs are an interesting exception.)
And so performers are asked to reveal their pet's nail technician's names ("Blanco") and favorite flavors of salad dressing ("With Blue Cheese crumbles? No!") and what's it like to have been fucked by so-and-so while eating a calzone in "Calzone Deliver Available Now: Raw and Pipin' Hot!" by XYZ Studios.
I'll pull the trigger if you don't.
But I have realized that rarely are people in gay porn superficial. That may be how they choose to parade themselves on-screen (or conduct themselves perniciously off-screen, as the case sometimes is), but performers, and the gay porn industry built around them, are rarely populated with the breezy, uncomplicated, what-you-see types. I mean, c'mon. A porn star's value as a commodity is based on how their sexual prowess is, if not perceived. And if you don't have to have a certain something to prove that in front of millions of people the world over, than I don't know what it is that makes a gay porn star tick.
But Cory Koons is different. I'm sure there's still a little bit of that in him, too. He says as much in the interview that follows. But Cory also told Playgirl.com as part of a press release junket that he the thing he finds sexiest about another man is the complete comfortability with his body. (Is there anything I need to add here that you won't find in what follows? I doubt it.)
So, without further adieu - and with my apologies to anyone who was hoping I would be a factual resource for future college essays on Cory Koons by listing every last resource on him (including his ethnic makeup), I have two words: Google it.
(Ed note: Credit for each of the images can be found at the end of the interview. This interview has been redacted for clarity's sake.)

MOC: So, first, I want to thank you for being so gracious about coming on to Men of Color Blog.

Cory Koons: The pleasure is mine.

MOC: Let's start in the moment. Where are you with your porn career?

Cory: I am an exclusive model for Treasure Island Media. I have filmed a lot of scenes with them but none have been released on DVD yet. I am not sure what they are waiting for, but hold onto your seats... the scenes are HOT. They are masturbation fantasies for me.

MOC: Why did you agree to an exclusivity contract with them. What did you like about TIM that you feel you wouldn't have found with other studios (aside from the offer of work)?

Cory: I never officially retired from porn; as any porn aficionado knows, there is no such thing as a retired porn model. When I decided I wanted to start doing porn again, I wanted to make the biggest splash I could. Treasure Island Media really is putting out the hottest videos out there right now in my opinion, so naturally they were the company I wanted to work with. I'm a pretty loyal guy. I've never used porn or sex work as a primary source of income. Returning to porn, it was important to me to put out the best product possible, and to try to represent my true sexuality. TIM + Cory Koons is a perfect fit...

MOC: So for those readers who may be unfamiliar with your pre-TIM work, can you fill in some of the holes?

Cory: ...and seriously, why go to other bareback companies to do porn? That to me would be like buying the fake designer bag on Canal St. I started my porn career in 2004. I filmed scenes for Raging Stallion, Titan, Rascal, and Channel One. Raging Stallion asked me to be an exclusive after filming my third scene with them. I've done a bit of Internet work also, but compared to other porn models, I haven't ever been very prolific, and my videography is pretty small.

MOC: Well, [Stanley] Kubrick didn't make a lot of movies either. So do you think having had all this film experience has made you a better partner sexually?

Cory: No. If anything, it has made me more self-conscious because I feel like I have something to prove to my sexual partners. If they think I'm some huge porn star, then they're going to expect some mind-blowing sex, right? Nothing kills a hard-on faster than pressure to perform well. I will say I do know how to make sex look good though.

MOC: So do many of your sexual partners know, say, from recognizing you or do you mostly just out and out tell them? Hey, do you know who I am? I'm Cory Koons.

Cory: Ha! I would never say that, and I would never expect anyone to know who I am. I don't consider myself a porn star. I think that term has become way too commonplace. Flattery gets you nowhere with me. And for some reason, the guys I am attracted to have no interest in porn, and I have been shunned many a time by guys that were into me until they found out "who I really am."

MOC: So do you consider yourself...well-versed in the bedroom?

Cory: I consider myself to be fantastic in the sack. And as much as I reiterate that I am vanilla, yeah, I know a lot about a lot.

MOC: So what makes you a good porn "star" in the sense that people want to continue to work with you?

Cory: No one wanted to work with me for years. I know for a fact that I was declared OVER by studio heads who used to adore me. I think TIM was interested in working with me because I am a good fit for their brand. I genuinely love getting fucked, I have always been outspoken and a bit of a rebel, and I have refused to adhere to the very limited normalities of what is considered attractive or saleable by most porn studios. I think what made Raging Stallion and Treasure Island want to sign me is that I have a good working attitude, I am professional, and I'm easy to work with. If people have fun working with you, they will want to hire you again. It's not getting booked for a job that is impressive, it's getting re-booked.

MOC: What sign or signs does a director send that tells you a shoot is going to be problematic? And in what ways?

Cory: There isn't much in the way of conversation that happens before a scene. I don't think a director always knows that a shoot is going to be problematic before the scene starts. And if they do, the last thing they are going to do is tell the models, "This is going to be a difficult shoot." That doesn't really build morale, it sets up an expectation that the shoot is going to be difficult. I don't think any director in their right mind would tell anyone in front of the camera the shoot is going to be difficult. When I worked for other studios that hire "straight" models, I would be told what the straight guy likes or doesn't like. Once I had to shave my beard for a straight guy. Does that count as a difficult scene? What makes a scene difficult is either a natural lighting issue if the scene is shot outside, which may or may not include mosquitoes and flies and other bugs, or a difficult model. Another great thing about TIM is they don't use models that are difficult. If you are difficult, you are OUT. There are way too many hot exhibitionist fags out there for anyone to have a prima donna attitude. Porn models are a dime a dozen, and we are all easily replaceable. The thing that makes a scene most difficult is if the top has trouble achieving or maintaining an erection. But if a model has difficulty in that area, chances are they are not going to be hired again.

MOC: But you've worked with a lot of directors, clearly. What signs tell you that a particularly director has no idea of what he's doing. It's not like there's a porn directing school. (And as a follow-up, have you ever been on a set where a performer walked off the set?)

Cory: If a director is directing the action by looking at what is actually going on instead of looking at it through the monitor, I know he's an idiot. [And] I have never been on a set where a model has walked off.

MOC: What performances of yours are you particularly proud of and why?

Cory: I think the first scenes I did - Stoked, Parts 1 and 2 by Raging Stallion, and Manplay-17 by Titan* - are the best out there so far. There is a certain innocence and eagerness and lack of anticipation or pressure that is only there when you first start out that can't ever be recaptured. And in Manplay-17, I first met Jacob Slader. Our connection was immediate and intense. They literally had to pry us apart. And there we were behind scenes him fucking me raw every chance he could get. There are a few scenes I have shot with TIM that are not out yet, that I am the most proud of. One scene, the director said, "This is the best thing I have ever shot," and I believe him. It was really fucking intense. I still jerk off thinking about it. It will blow your mind. I think the work I've done with Treasure Island is the best work I've done, hands down, in spades beyond anything else. But they don't shoot porn. They document male sexuality, and they only release what was genuinely an intense, connected sexual encounter. (*No results turned up for "Cory Koons" on the Titan Media website, at least not for "Manplay 17.")

MOC: Where were you when you looked in the mirror and said: "Cory, go do some porn?"

Cory: I grew up thinking I was hot. When I started school at UC Berkeley I went from being the hot gay guy to just another Asian guy. I developed really low self-esteem. Another gay Asian guy told me, "Just work out a lot and do a cycle of steroids. If you work your body out hard enough, guys won't care about your slanted eyes." I was 18.

MOC: So was porn a way for you to reclaim your confidence?

Cory: I got a boyfriend who loved me and thought I was the most beautiful thing ever. Unfortunately, we had zero sexual chemistry and he had no interest in having sex with me. We broke up, partially because I started to realize other guys thought I was sexy. I've always been fascinated by porn and sex, life and death, etc. Goth till the end. Part of it was retaliation on my part. I wanted to show him just how much everyone else wanted to fuck me. Another part of it was that I had such a battle with my own feelings of being attractive. Much like women have this unrealistic ideal of being 5'10", 120 lb, perpetuated by the fashion industry and mainstream media, gay men have this unrealistic ideal of this 6' tall, corn-fed guy with an unnaturally muscular body; a jock body that has nothing to do with sports, just gym time and steroids and setting your alarm clock in the middle of the night to take another protein shake. For the most part, the only visibly out, sexy gay guys are porn models. And let's face it, most porn models, historically, are huge beefy white guys. I think it's terrible for young gay guys to grow up wishing they were white if they're of any ethnicity at all. I started porn with the hope I could help other guys that aren't stereotypically attractive and Caucasian feel better about themselves. MOC: Why do you think that is? Why is Racism such an issue in mainstream porn? Even when companies hire black or Latin models, they are rarely promoted they way white ones are.

Cory: It's true. There is a movie where I am the only bottom in the whole movie, the obvious star, and the studio didn't want to put me on the cover because they were worried I wouldn't be able to move enough copies, because I am too "exotic." They finally decided to put me on the cover, obscured and sandwiched between two white guys. Any oppressed demographic is going to create a hierarchy within their group to recreate the oppression they receive. This is what the gay community has done. Buff white guys are the ideal. If you are Latin and have a big dick, you're considered practically as good as a white guy. If you are black and buff and have a huge dick then you can be fetishized as a big-dicked black guy, and if you are Asian you are fucked. You are a feminine submissive ladyboy with a tiny dick. [The] funny thing is, the porn industry won't admit this, even though it is painfully obvious. I was at a panel discussion of porn directors and the issue of race and the ensuing discussion was one of the most appalling things I've ever heard. One director/studio head said that the reason why there weren't more black guys in the industry is because it's so hard to understand them because we don't speak their language. You have to hire a black guy that can understand them, to get black models. Joe Gage became very defensive, and said that he wouldn't use so many white models if there were men of color that wanted to do porn. He said that there were no black or Asian models that wanted to porn, and he's been searching for them for years. He also said, "I'm not racist, I've used a black guy in a video before." One black guy in a video. Wow. And I know for a fact, that he rejected me for a series of videos by Titan. I was booked for the videos. The casting director/studio head told me that he had to run me by Joe Gage because he had final approval, but that he was a great guy and would love me. I was rejected for being too "exotic." For not being representative of everyman. For not being white. What a racist asshole. It was all I could do not to stand up and lay in on him. I regret very few things, and not speaking up at this discussion, of the history of gay porn, is one of those things I regret.

MOC: What makes for a good porn performance?

Cory: Legitimate sexual chemistry, which cannot be faked. A knowledge of how video works, how to cheat out for the camera, how to arch your back as a bottom, push your balls up to get a clear penetration shot, a top being aware of the light and not blocking the light with their body or blocking the action with their arms. I have worked as a fashion stylist and art director and have directed many a model and photo shoot; my extensive experience behind the camera has informed my performances in front of the camera.

MOC: Well, I've jerked off to you in Arabesque more than just about any other gay porn scene so, yeah, I'd say you're a pretty good student. Can you take a couple more questions?

Cory: Of course. Awwwwwwww. Thank you! I don't know if I've actually watched that one. I should check it out!

MOC: So everyone is screaming "Piracy is killing the porn industry!" "File sharing is destroying us!" Is it really that bad in your opinion or is it something else, like studio heads being too lazy to invent new business models?

Cory: LAZY. To me, studios complaining about piracy is the same thing as car companies still making cars that rely on fossil fuels. Laziness and money. Everything as we know it is changing. And the same studios that complain about piracy are also adamantly against bareback movies. We are entering new times, and we need to change with the times. You'd think that gays would be more progressive and willing to change and adapt but no.

MOC: Going back to something I asked you earlier: Has your immediate family every seen your work?

Cory: My sister has. No one else I know of. My sister and I are really close.

MOC: What did she think of what you showed her? What did you show her?

Cory: I didn't show her anything. She found out I've done porn through her gay friends. She thinks I am an attractive guy and says that if she had a rockin' body she'd probably do porn too, and she is proud of the fact that I am adding a bit of diversity to the world.

MOC: She and I, both.

Cory: And she does have a rockin' body, but you know how girls are... she's not 5'10" and 120 lbs.

MOC: Well, considering all the personal [stuff] you're going through right now, I just wanted to say - again - how much I appreciate you and the time you've given me and my readers. I'd say my tenacity paid off. So thank you.

Cory: Aw, anytime. I love hearing my voice.

MOC: Me, too.

Credit for the following images goes to:
Image #001: Fritz Main
Image #002: Gustavo Monroy
Illustration #003: Miguel Angel Reyes
Image #004: Reed Massengill
Image #005: Sam Devries

Cory Koons's Blog is right here. Or, you could follow Cory on Twitter. OR, if you're really lucky, he might be your friend on the Social Network!

You've Got to be Fucking Kidding Me

2010-11-25T03:21:00.000-05:00

It's Brian... we met at TKTKTKTK last week, friend of TKTKTKTK.....
How u been?
would be fun to hang some time.
You like suckin cock? I don't fuck unless we get married lol. (ass bang BFs only.)
I shoot a coupla loads in a row, if you like cum, NEG, that works hehe....
We connected a long time back; here's a pic to jog your memory

PORN ST☆R II

2010-11-15T14:55:00.000-05:00

http://www.treasureislandblog.com/?p=2550

Last Word

2010-11-15T14:51:00.000-05:00

Withers: Gay porn performers and the changing media world

The media world, from news gathering to network television, is undergoing a seismic shift. From a fractured audience base to technological advances transforming how images and information can be consumed, what worked in a past age no longer applies.

These overall media currents have not left the gay porn world unscathed. Pornography is produced and sold in ways eons removed from the old days of grandpa’s red light districts. Times Square used to be a piece of real estate where porn reigned supreme. Now that iconic neighborhood is the epicenter for Disney (for a provocative take on this transformation read Samuel Delany’s Times Square Red, Times Square Blue).

With market challenges and the changes in production, porn performers can no longer make the same assumptions models in the past made. There used to be time where a porn star was attached to a particular company. Those type of exclusive contracts are still offered, but more and more porn actors are taking the freelance route, working for multiple studios and websites.

Devon Hunter. Photo by Julian Vankim

“Porn studios don’t really do many exclusive arrangements anymore,” said model Devon Hunter (NSFW). “It’s not practical. That model of doing business isn’t particularly common anymore, and most models are free to go from studio to studio. There’s not enough talent to hoard models, and the companies can’t generally pay enough, or offer consistent enough work to be in a position to make the demand.”

“A lot of performers enjoy being exclusive with one company because it (usually) means they get health insurance and benefits, a monthly, guaranteed salary, and a stable work schedule, Zach Sire, editor of Naked Sword (NSFW) offered in an email. “The downside though is once they come off their exclusive contract, there are some studios that are reluctant to work with someone who’s been so closely associated with a competitor. On the other hand, I’ve talked to numerous models who prefer to be free agents as it allows them the chance to sample a variety of men, and a variety of production environments.”

Zach Sire

As freelancers, porn actors have to be involved with more than their work in front of the camera. They are required to use media tools—Twitter, Facebbook, blogging—to give their screen work industry and fan buzz. According to publicist Angel Benton gay porn stars are no different from their mainstream peers because they “are part of an increasingly celebrity-driven culture with a growing openness toward sexuality and pornography in general.”

“The smart porn stars are the ones who strategically use these tools to build their personal brands,” Benton continued. “Yes there are porn agents, but with dozens of clients, it really is the responsibility of the porn star to control his own brand. So when you combine this you have a completely new generation of porn stars than you did in years previous.”

Angel Benton

Despite this brave new world, the past is never past. While porn performers are becoming increasingly media savvy, they still must grapple with the pluses, and minuses, of being involved in the sex industry. How will permanent images of choreographed coitus impact a performer once he returns to life as a civilian? For some it might mean a front page article in the New York Times.

“Models are always in need of answers to the tough questions,” said Howard Andrew of FabScout (NSFW), an agency that works with porn models. “My phone rings all the time from the old ones and the new ones. There is no change in expectations from models.”

The reasons people get naked for the camera matches the number of models in the business. Josh Slyman (NSFW) is relatively new to the industry, and most of his work has been for a site called Next Door Buddies (NSFW). He decided to do porn as a way to shatter his closet door.

Josh Slyman

“I’ve always been kind of a bit of a closeted gay guy, and I’m kind of using this as a way for me to have to get my butt out of the closet,” Slyman said via email. “This might seem strange, but it worked for me at least. By doing porn it kind of takes the whole coming out thing out of my hands. It’s been easy for me to fit into the straight world as a seemingly straight man, but by doing this I can’t really deny what I am; which in the long run will really help me out.”

Hunter chose porn after ruminating about it for a number of years. After he made the decision, he applied to companies that were similar to the image he wanted to advertise as an escort.

“I wanted to be associated with the company that I thought had the highest production values and the hottest models (since that would reflect on me personally),” Hunter noted. “I wanted to be presented as totally vanilla (since I am), and I wanted to be as quotidian as possible. I didn’t want to look anything like the drugged-out, broke down stereotype people associate with adult entertainer. Part of my whole quest is to undermine that misconception, so I looked at going to one of the amateur studios that looked as close to professional as possible. That’s the image I wanted: As close to”wholesome” as possible, because I didn’t want to attract people who wanted anything other than a boyfriend experience.”

For others, the reasons were a bit more primal. Drew Cutler (NSFW) and Diesel Washington (NSFW) admit their porn porn plunges are connected to being porn fans, with strong exhibitionist streaks.

“Since I was young I’ve always wanted to do porn,” Cutler said. “I remember watching a straight porn movie and really enjoyed what I saw. I was obsessed with the guy and thought I’d like to be in it with him.”

Washington adds a racial angle that has been a sore point for a business that markets desire.

“I wanted to come in and show my skills and just represent as a man of color in a business that worships the all-American white jock,” said Washington, who like Hunter was an escort before he started his video career. “I wanted to show that different races can also be marketable and popular as my white counterparts.”

While porn is not overtly political, the hard knuckles come out when the topic turns to models who appear in condom-less videos. Andrew refuses to represent actors with a bare back video past; Hunter, Slyman, Washington, and Cutler are adamant about working only for companies that have strict condom policies. Bare back actors know they are considered the pariahs of the industry. However, they point to the increasing market for condom free videos and argue their performances represent what gay men actually do.

Sean Storm started his career in porn in the late 1990s. His early work was in condom productions, but his private sex life didn’t match the screen.

Sean Storm

“I had pretty much been bare backing in my private life since I first started doing video work back around 1999 and 2000,” said Storm. “It was such a taboo for any performer to be in condom-less movies back then that I didn’t even entertain working in the bare back genre.”

Storm maintains he and his partners went no latex to prepare for their scenes.

“On almost every condom shoot, me and the top I was working with would sneak off and bare back in a corner to get in the mood. Then when the cameras rolled we had to put on the condoms. That seemed so fake to me, though I understand the reasoning behind it.”

In 2004 he decided if he was going to continue in the industry he would only perform bare. He owns his own company—Cre8tiveJuices.com (NSFW)—and only appears in his own productions.

Cory Koons (NSFW) also started his career in condom videos, but this past summer signed an exclusive contract with the infamous Treasure Island Media (NSFW). He crafted his video persona to be a “a tough, fearless, ethnically ambiguous, smart-ass slut bottom. I wanted to present something that didn’t fit into a category. Although my image is certainly cut from the same cloth as Joey Stefano, I wanted to expand the definition of what is considered sexy, or what is considered profitable enough to place on the cover of DVDs.”

His choice to bare back is a defiant response to an industry that quickly moves on once a performer is no longer seen as a “must have” commodity. It’s also a a reaction against what he sees as a gay cultural moment that is trying too hard for acceptance

“Let’s not forget this business chews up and spits out lots of beautiful guys. I am a huge believer in taking responsibility for your actions. I also believe in the freedom to express one’s sexuality, and Cory’s natural sexuality is much better expressed by Treasure Island.”

Cory Koons. Photo by Paul Sepuya

Responsibility is the mantra all the models repeated. Whether it was taking charge of their industry careers, or defending being involved in the marketing of fantasy.

“I know that there will be people out there that won’t hire me, or may fire me because of my past and I’m fine with that,” Slyman noted. ”The biggest thing for me was being able to live with myself, and as long as I’m okay with being me I know I’ll be fine.”

TAP TAP TAP That lil' Bugger

2010-09-06T13:07:00.000-04:00

One could argue it is best for me to write some things down and save them for a larger piece and shift some of the focus on this blog.

This picture always made me think of labor day:

How Rude!

2010-09-04T21:53:00.000-04:00

I Make Banana Cry Now

2010-09-04T00:52:00.000-04:00

FUCK MY HOLE

2010-07-29T14:20:00.001-04:00

young single dad looking for a guy who has an international lifestyle is busy/ successful and wants a family :) dont have a home, so looking to live anywhere, profile location isnt where I am necessarily ;) instant family with the right guy (have kid)

i get off on the idea of my man fucking me to sleep, and holding me. a man who can be a man for me and a family.

travel is nice, been to 50+ countries, but really want a man with big arms

----

me i am young, playful, sharp, independent, and looking..Shit! I hate looking, dating, and meeting people. Just want to sign on the dotted line, just want that one amazing guy... and want to stick with him! L-ove him. Prefer guys who like to pick up the phone, talk and get the plane to meet, not into chat. I am looking for a man, for the long-term, be a family, move around the world, travel with you. If youre him say so and be aggressive & confident about it. I do not want compliments or encouragement, makes me feel lonely. I like remote places, am not too social. I need a guy who can take charge and support the family. Its about roles, & that works for me.

Ideally we could travel all the time, and revert to homebase. My daughter is 3.

I like long runs in the woods (at night), great dinners in remote restaurants, dive diners, bbq on a fire, cuddlin' on the plane, long drives through wild places, sleeping on the beach, rocking the boat or sitting on a curb next to you.

Looking for a crazy fun, yet very responsible successful guy. I am out of my mind, but have a sharp head on my shoulders. I am reliable and sane, just totally uninterested in a normal life. When I say I will, i am not a minute late.

My daughter and I are a package deal, you get a family! A family is what you are missing. Trust. You'll realize you can trust me. I'll find my passion.

Can be willing, aggressive, successful, playful, stubborn, & hurt.

World is your oyster. You're strong,intense, scary & aggressive,yet kind and endearing. I am all, which makes it harder to love me. You are total man and understand though i am independent, I truly want to depend on you.Settling down in your arms is scary for me but what i want.

You can afford (time&financially) freedom. lots of it.

You get crazy mad in love. You see me on the other side of the room at a party and feel alone with me, you give me that look like that tells me i am about to get it.. hard:) basically you're intense & confident.. a man. -I am.

You get excited about helping me become more successful as I do helping you. We're are a team, you can offer the best, you have everything, but are happy with nothing, like me ;) I too want a partner in life and business.

I want to be really impressed. I'll impress you.

Travel the world with me, love & take care of me and the kid(s), take charge. I can, but need you to. Lets make a home(s) together. I dont care just want to do it with my buddy. Tired of going it alone.

Under the stars or in 7 stars I would like and want to be able to do both with you. I can appreciate good food, and I can appreciate a sharp knife when I slaughter for food. Am that kind of guy. I like to do anything with adventure. I ski (well), scuba dive (advanced), run in the woods(at night), dive off the boat (into deep oceans), i mountain bike, and i love to curl up and cuddle. I want to do it all with you, my buddy.I'll bring the family, energy, playfulness and good times. I am a hard worker, everything i've had was cause i worked for it and people believed in me, I dont come from money. I need someone who can love, protect and provide.I dont want to worry about money, thats your role. Dont worry Ill make lots of it for us too. Be the man for me and the family, and be able to offer an amazing life. I'll do more than my share. Where you leave off, I'll pick up.. I am a very very strong guy. I like alpha male types, I am one too, but would like you to take the helm. I will run from anything that resembles a normal life. I hate shopping & accumulating things. I lived a nice big house, had my two cars, my truck and my kid and a live in nanny... I was so terribly alone and lonely. So i gave it up, and walked away. I'll make a home, but i want to make it with you. Your life better be an amazing one, or you have the means to let me make it an amazing one for us. Need a man who has lived as much of life as I have. Am the type of guy you have to meet to fully understand. My age or older know what you like, and have an amazing life to share. Am not looking for friends, chat buddies, am looking for that one guy.. my guy. Am a farmboy, wild boy at heart. I am lost in cities, social scenes or anything that resembles the masses. Driving my truck through elephants or car&driver are more my style than waiting for a car wash. Want a guy who wants the best for my (our)kids, and can offer it. I want to be that special buddy to a very special guy. You'll be mine. Like I am in my life, you're Very confident in the bed. You're mine, and ill be yours. Dont have a home, just traveling till i find something i like. Age looks etc aren't so important,,,it's about how good you make me want to be, and we make each other feel. You are who you are, not the looks you are born with ;) Yes, me too I get tired, and sometimes look for a place where i can settle down for a bit..with my guy. Most animals dont initially like their mate, am open minded. Something intense, scary and full of love would be good for me;) I need someone who can hold me tight.
________________________________________ ______
All that said, I am very independent. I had a dream once that i was dating a very busy man (columbian drug lord in the dream), who lived a top of a mountain, and who wasn't able to for whatever reason to spend the all the days of the year with me, but we had a deal, when the other called in need, the other came. I think that could work for me too.

________________________________________ __________________________ During, Before and After all the above... I am just a young man looking for love & a partner.

I Know You're Reading This

2010-07-28T01:18:00.000-04:00

How many of me are there out there?

CONFESSION TIME

2010-07-23T03:07:00.000-04:00

I really love doing porn. It turns me on a lot. Why should I feel embarrassed or ashamed that I have gone out and done something that makes me feel great, look great, and I'm having some of the hottest sex on the planet. and what I mean when I say that, I mean, gives me boners for days, weeks, months later. Maybe it is the effect of the cult, Treasure Island Media, that I am now part of. I have been thinking about things in terms of Daddy/Son type ways, and it's kinda like Treasure Island is the daddy, whoring his boys out to all his other boys. When I was in SF I felt like Cory the whole time. Cory can do things that Darren wouldn't do. I've been telling myself to hold onto that feeling and carry it on. Embrace Cory, don't be afraid of him. Cory is kindofthe idealized, super slutty, version of me.

It's hard not to think that this creation of Cory is his mind's way of not dealing with things he deems too painful to deal with, so for him to enjoy himself and relax and enjoy things a bit Cory has to come out and woooooEEEEEEooooooooo.

I Have a Problem with Authority

2010-07-15T02:02:00.000-04:00

and I think I've been running away from something my whole life. The something changes regularly. Kinda funny, right, that I, of all people, would be afraid of feeling.

My SF Trip (XXX)

2010-07-13T13:57:00.001-04:00

Holy Fuck! This wasn't so much a trip as it was a mentality, which I guess makes it a head trip?

First off, I will say I roomed wtih Jessy Karson.

Brad McGuire was in the room next door.

Jerry Stearns had some kind words to share with me after we met, the whole studio has been talking about what happened when we met.

Treasure Island Exclusives are not randomly selected. It was less like porn and more like sex than anything I have ever done with a video camera and lighting before.

And what can I say about the freedom being on vacation affords? What happens when you walk into the Treasure Island Media/Naked Sword party at TRUCK you were supposed to be at, thirty minutes, and this immediately happens:

"you know, after our scene was finished, I wanted to fuck you so bad... I went to your door but I heard voices and didn't want to bother you."

[ed. note: the voice was Jessy Karson, who would not have minded being interrupted, as he would have been happy to share me]

your wish is granted. no lube, no nothing. just suck it till it's hard and wet and stick it in. simple.

Sage Daniels is a dream and my biggest regret that weekend is that he only came inside me once. I would happily be in his crotch for very, very long time. And don't we look related?

Brad McGuire is a dreamotherfuckingboat. The first time (and every time thereafter) he put my head in his armpit, my knees went a little weak and I let out a low lecherous animal growl. I'm pretty I sure I saw him chuckle a bit (and every time thereafter). I am helpless. The iciest, most piercing blue eyes. Wolfy.

I like my new family.

And, yeah, the huge poster behind us is Dawson and a puppy.

PORN ST☆R

2010-07-09T02:00:00.000-04:00

It's really funny, right, how I feel it's OK to get buttfucked in front of you guys but it's not OK to talk about other things? Like I'm a role model or something.

So I didn't write anything for a bit.

Now I'm a porn st☆r again.

I should start writing more. Posting pictures. Sexy.

I have sex all the time now, sheesh! It's hot too. SUPER HOT. I should be sharing it with people.

I received a text from my sister the other day that she reads THIS VERY blog, which freaked me out.

The things I post here, sometimes I re-read them, and I myself am shocked by the brutal honesty.

To think, this is only a tiny fraction of my good behavior.

I am so fortunate to have family that loves me no matter what.

But at the same time, I don't want to hear about what anyone's business in the bedroom. I don't talk about my sex life, at least I don't elaborate on it as much as I do here. Then again, I am not forcing anyone to listen or read.

It has become very clear to me what I have been doing for years. I have been trying to whittle down the number, and intensity, of people that depend on me for anything. Cutting my ties, obligations. I received a text just a few minutes ago from a friend, that I should consider myself family now. I started to text back, "Don't be surprised when I don't see you or talk to you for weeks, months, or years at a time now!"

Then I decided not to write back.

Shhh. It's a Secret

2010-06-12T02:01:00.000-04:00

http://www.treasureislandmedia.com/community/pg/pages/view/766/

San Francisco, CA – June 11, 2010 –

Versatile manfuck master KURT WOOD and legendary cockhound CORY KOONS have inked exclusive contracts with Paul Morris's Treasure Island Media, the studio announced today.

One-time Playgirl model and porn legend Cory Koons is also set to appear on the T.I.M. websites in the near future. "I've had second thoughts about making porn again," the voracious equal-opportunity bottom admits, "but I want to show the world how I really have sex now. I’m a balls-out rawdog and proud of it!"

Which makes Koons a perfect fit for Treasure Island Media. "Cory takes cock like a true master bottom,” pronounced T.I.M. director Max Sohl. “He's a real guy, an incredibly nice and decent guy who just happens to have one of the most beautiful and fuckable asses in the world. I’m delighted to be able to offer up that hungry fuckhole to all of our topmen.”
When asked how it felt to sign his life away to porn master Morris, Koons grinned broadly. “I would have signed the contract in blood if he’d asked me to. Who wouldn’t?”
Koons makes his Treasure Island Media debut in the 06-16-10 update on TIMFUCK.com.

Wood and Koons join Treasure Island Media's growing international roster of master cocksmen and fuckpigs that includes Brad McGuire, Christian, Dawson, Jessy Karson, Jerry Stearns, Damon Dogg, Jesse O'Toole, Keer, and deaf topman Calvin.

Treasure Island Media (T.I.M.) is the world’s most watched, most-imitated and fastest growing producer of all-male entertainment. Paul Morris, legendary founder and owner of T.I.M., is dedicated to the support of wildly creative free expression. “More a cult than a porn studio”, Treasure Island Media supports innovative, intellectual and artistic work world-wide.

T.I.M. Premier Streaming Websites: timfuck.com | timsuck.com
Other T.I.M. Websites: treasureislandmedia.com | treasureislandvideo.com | paulmorrisphotos.com | treasureislandblog.com | ryansullivansisland.com | paulmorrisforum.com | freegaychatroulette.com

Baseball Caps, Large Sunglasses, Wigs, Eyeglasses with Nose and Moustache

2010-04-13T02:24:00.000-04:00

I had dinner with my ex-boyfriend/best friend/dad tonight. We went to the same place we generally always go... Grand Sichuan, some of the best Chinese in Manhattan, and a few blocks from his apartment. We've been going there for over four years now together, Pony has been going there since he moved to NYC ten years ago... It really is the best. Recently the menus have become leather, bound, and fancy, and the prices have raised. The robotic, super butch bull dyke Chinese waitresses have stayed the same.

The restaurant was full of gays tonight. The last table to be sat was by a hot, buff, dark, short, beardy guy, so Pony and I were on it and paying attention. When his bespectacled dinner date showed up ten minutes later, and on the phone, he was not pleased. Pony and I continued to talk and make up stories for every table in the restaurant. Glasses/phone guy caught my glance twice, directly in the eye. BAM, he's been staring at me. OK. Cool. Outside the restaurant Pony and I discuss Hotbeardyguy and Friendonphonewithglasses. I mention Friendonphonewithglasses checked me out. Pony immediately says, "They recognized you."

"Really?" I wonder.

"Yeah. It happens all the time," from Pone.

"No way. I've never noticed people recognize me as Cory."

"It happens all the time. I know it. I can tell. I see it."

I still don't believe it.

I have a zit.

Do I want to be famous? If so, why is the "real 'me'" more popular than me? Does he want to be famous? Who wants to be famous? Who wants to be famous more?

Be irresponsible. Don't make any money.

What is it that makes you tick?

Like. I could be in jail for doing nothing, really!

I don't think people recognize me. Depending on length of facial hair, length of hair, styling, specifically contact lenses vs. spectacles and baseball cap, I can be many different stories. The tattoos are sort of distinctive. But at the same time, I am always serving up Face. Really though, I think people don't recognize me because I'm not really anything to recognize, but possibly, by a very small group of gay guys, which is more than I ever wanted to be recognized, I think...

You know this is like a rough draft of something else that I'm going to write later, right?

I am an Addict

2010-04-08T03:42:00.000-04:00

Maybe you have guessed I am head over heels in love currently. My mind is literally exploding with lightning bolt idea after idea. My lover has left town for work for a few weeks, so I will hopefully be able to execute them all in this time.

I am returning to my art roots. He is an artist. We will make art together. I have a dream again.

And of course, it has made me conflicted about my porn career, which seems like it will be taking off again very shortly. Shocking, right, since I tend to be a total uncompromising (in my morals) bad-ass?

I am making love again. I forgot how amazing it is. It's like having sex fucked up on crystal or crack. I guess this is what is conflicting me: My sexuality feels so BRIGHT right now, but it seems like male sexuality is becoming increasingly darker and darker.

I do not equate hot sex with worshiping Satan. I do not think my cum is the seed of Satan. I guess part of it is that I do not believe in, well, um, ANY organized religion, but why can't my cum be the sweet nectar that unicorns like to lap up?

I am aware I have a tattoo of Satan on my arm, but in my world Satan is a very dapper gentleman, perhaps a little fey, and he loves bichon frises.

Here's a pic of me sucking his big fat dick (as if you had to ask). It curves a bit up, is wider than it is deep, if that makes sense, and every time I choke on it, get it down my throat, tears streaming, throat slime everywhere, he makes these adorable noises like he can't even believe people can deep throat his dick like that. And I'm sweating and gagging and gnawing on it with my molars, he kisses me and sucks the spit and precum out of my mouth and spits it back in mine, and it is so sweet and tender
and loving. I think I'm going to paint it.

All That!

2010-03-09T02:12:00.002-05:00

And I barely got any extra attention! WAH. I guess I'll crawl into my bed where my lover lies sleeping.

My Baby Blanket

2010-02-26T04:41:00.001-05:00

photo by Paul Sepuya

The Bubble Burst

2010-02-25T06:18:00.000-05:00

I find myself practically in a relationship, in love against better judgment, with a boy.

Shoot went well. Apparently, I am like a "breath of fresh air."

We had our first lil' tiff, if you want to call it that, tonight.

My boy started complaining how his millionaire father doesn't give him enough money. I mentioned maybe his dad should have died when he was eight so he could live off the life insurance (until it runs out your sophomore year of college)/(so your mom can buy a new house and promptly move in the boyfriend you hate and the boyfriend's son you hate even more, but the boyfriend's son has a dick, and he wants you to suck it, so you do because you are eleven and hot and horny and it is all you can get. When you are not sucking your dick you are trying to make his head catch on fire or at least implode... layers of skin fall off to reveal mucles and tendons falling off to reveal bones and joints and... SLUGS? THAT IS WHAT WAS UNDERNEATH THERE? SLUGS?) money, until it runs out before it is convenient for it to run out.

I started doing that thing that one should never do. What would my life be like now if my dad had never died. I would be gay, that is for sure... but I'm not sure if I would have pushed my boundaries of gayness as far as I did. I don't think I would have pushed myself so far in any way. It's so weird to understand my father never heard me play my sax (I studied with a jazz saxophonist for about ten years... he wanted me to carry on the legacy of old jazz masters like himself) or bassoon (my bassoon teacher, the studio bassoonist for Disney, told me once of a fifteen year old girl [I was sixteen, and slacking hard] who was performing a bassoon concerto. He told me that I had more musicality in my right pinkie than she had in her entire body and it killed him to know she was getting a concerto and I was fucking my talent away when clearly my future lied in the realm of bassoon, and I should quit sax, quit sports, and devote the rest of my life to this dying art--bassson is considered one of the most difficult instruments to master. They are as expensive as luxury automobiles, have wait lists, and the craftsmanship of something as simple as a double reed could take a lifetime to master), and I really thought that was where my life was headed until I was sixteen and my house burned down at 4am, my father's birthday... just a few hours before I was to catch the train to go to all-state honor choir (I was a 2nd bass, and had scored highest from my school. My voice doesn't really sound good, but my perfect pitch, ability to sight read, transpose keys, etc. but me at a serious advantage). I gave everything that had to do with music up. It was not my thing.

Neither was the ridiculously delicious food I was learning to cook, with the opportunity to learn the business of owning a restaurant from the inside out. It was not my thing.

I don't even want to talk about the fashion thing. The dude that moved me to NYC and I decided it was better for me to quit my fierce restaurant jobs and gigs around time as the hot new piece of ass in NYC nightlife to assist him. That lead to an old, dear, dear friend from Berkeley/restaurant days working at a magazine to get me to intern for that magazine. Six months later I was hired as Fashion Market Editor, with no experience, no college education, no nothing. Just. Something. I was believed in. I don't know. I guess I've had a lot of daddies. A year later, I'm working with people I idolized when I was a kid and they are asking my opinion about their fashion line; I'm fast on my way to becoming HOT SHIT. It was not my thing.

If my dad had been there and forced me not to give up, would I have, every time, for either fear of success or fear of failure?

Would my mom still be in the same fucking hopeless threadbare relationship with the same fucking asshole that I still fucking hate (let's not forget his disgusting hairdresser date-raping son)?

Would my sister's husband have killed himself ("this is because of you, bitch [BANG]")?

Would I have become an HIV+ escort, go-go boy, stripper, and future bareback porn star for the good part of a decade?

I'M AN ARTIST GODDAMNIT!

Everyone has it. It's what you make of it, right?

Just for the record, I think I would have ended up owning a successful chain of old-school pharmacies/ soda counter with treats/variety/gift stores, on the lower end, and on the higher end completely changing the way western medicine looks at prescription drugs and drug companies and their role in our continued/future illnesses, after a stint as a symphony musician/cool cat in a jazz band. At the very least I would have graduated college.

I love you Frankie. I am not completely sure why, but I don't think I need to know yet.

If this doesn't work out I will still love you. I refuse to begin loving anything that I may regret loving/not love in the future. That is not worth it for me. If we stop being active lovers, know I still love you all the same.

Is this what I'm really trying to say?

Love is eternal?

Preparation: Meat Scrunchy

2010-02-19T18:46:00.000-05:00

It was quite possibly the biggest dick I've ever seen. I took it like a champ. Last time I'm having sex or ejaculating before my scene tomorrow. My mind can rest knowing that my ass can take A LOT. I forget sometimes there is a reason why I am considered a powerbottom.

Post-Gym-Time

2010-02-18T01:18:00.000-05:00

It's gettin' there...

I Make the Porn

2010-02-18T01:15:00.000-05:00

Got a shoot coming up this Saturday for a studio I've never worked for. Got a shoot coming up Monday for a studio I worked for once but I was only like fist #14 or something. Exciting, no, that I make the porn?

"Being sleazy is having the ability and the willingness to become whatever is necessary to get what you want. Or, conversely, to somehow make whomever you're with into whatever you want — or need. It implies a very basic malleability of selfhood, a flexibility of identity that's less depersonalizing than it is repeatedly repersonalizing. Take what you're given and make it work. This is the exercise of sleaze."

2010-02-16T15:04:00.002-05:00

Christopher Rage

Bad Hair...

2010-02-16T14:58:00.000-05:00

great fucking.

That is the title to a post I was writing in reference to my hairstyle in Manplay-17, but I can't figure out how to embed the video here so fuck it. Hey guys guess what I am having special feelers for someone and right now it's at the point I feel I need to tranquilize myself a little bit just to stand it!!!

That's not really what I'm here to talk about. I have decided to grow some balls and accept things might be discussed in a bad way but in the end I have to stay true to myself, my character and my self-expression.

I want to be a bad-ass in love.
The inclination is already there.
If there is reciprocation by another bad-ass, even better.

I was talking to a friend about doing an anonymous cum-dump type of scene, and I said it was not my cup of tea, but I could imagine doing it if I had a lover that was really into it and got turned on by whoring my hole out indiscriminately... which I immediately said was weird. My friend asked why it was weird to want someone to look out for you. I couldn't come up with a good answer.

Everything You Do

2010-02-10T03:36:00.000-05:00

Should be done with conviction and confidence.

The only times you make a misstep are when you think twice where you are stepping.

I realized something tonight: I have lost the capacity to miss people. Do we actually lose the ability to feel certain emotions or do we cast them aside when it suits us? Selective hearing. This may be redundant but I don't miss missing.

What do you do when your emotions become a highly efficient angerconverter and any emotion that pops up in you end up expressing itself PISSED OFF? What if you get part of your strength from your anger, your beast, your self-proclaimed worst enemy, and the world is going to end and only you can save it but you aren't sure if you have the strength and the advice you seek tells you IT IS NOT ENOUGH and to save the world you must embrace your worst enemy and let it become an even bigger part of you?

If you were Buffy, you'd totally refuse to demonize your heart and soul, bust out of the chains, fight off the old ancient black dudes, and come back to reality thanks to a hot lesbian best friend, only to realize that it is not enough.

Following this new train of Buffy-thought I have a vision of a hot lesbian witch casting a spell that causes all present and future powerbottoms to release their full powers all at once... to an all-powerful metaphallus that won't know what it is hitting.

Get your own valid XHTML YouTube embed code

And from the looks of your last few weeks' of postings, it looks like the sort of boners you're chasing are the slimy, tattooed, drugged-out, unprotected & poz kind... which, I think we're all in agreement on, you should most-definitely be avoiding!

2010-02-09T14:39:00.000-05:00

Slimy, tattooed, drugged-out, unprotected... are you talking about me? I've been chasing myself! Holy fuck! I've been at the edge of this river for weeks!!!

new projects

2010-02-09T02:21:00.000-05:00

are in the air. I've been going back and forth (in my head, but not really.... a moment of talking myself out of it here and there) but all it takes is a look at a picture and the reality of it all and I get a boner, and is a boner so bad?

2010-02-04T02:55:00.001-05:00

"My fantasy involves two consenting adults well aware of the risks. I can't help that as a neg vers/top I am turned on by the thought of taking a load from a hot poz guy. Can I ask you a hypothetical question? If both parties are aware that the top is poz and the bottom willingly takes the load does it still make it wrong? I just thought that since you have a 'piggy' side you would at least appreciate my fantasy."

2010-02-04T02:50:00.002-05:00

Ink Storm with Tober Brandt

2010-02-03T13:25:00.000-05:00

This was the second to last scene I shot.

Corey Koon Wrestles!!!

2010-02-03T13:16:00.002-05:00

And does me proud. Who would like to see me wrestle?

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So Many Things

2010-02-03T13:06:00.000-05:00

I wish I could say here... But I can't. I do not know what is stopping me. Nothing can be worse than what is already assumed about me. So what stops me? Pride? Fear that I will have a worse reputation, that any guy I go on a date with will read the blog and be immediately terrified? People already think I'm shady, but if I didn't hold anything back, well, everyone would think I am shady.

It's amazing how many guys are so freaked out by me before they even meet me. Lately I seem to be torturing myself be being attracted to lil' scruffy tattooed boys in their twenties that live in Brooklyn--a close approximation to myself--yet they are all really cautious and weary of my charms. I do not feel like I am part of my generation. There is certain conformist mentality I see rising up in the young gays, a strive towards hetero-normative ideas and morals, and I do not like it.

I don't think I'm a monster, nor do I think I'm shadier than most. I am just honest about my shadiness and I own it, and that is my problem. It becomes increasingly more difficult to stay honest when I know everyone is lying around me.

Why am I being such a bummer today? I'm actually in a good mood.

Since you guys seem to like porn clips of me... I will look for more out there. They are all really old... I like it that some of you read this without knowing any of my video work. It's cute. OK BYE

Back When I was Famous

2010-02-01T09:16:00.000-05:00

check this out... HIGHlarious. I just watched it for the first time last night. I seem so...energetic. In the unrated version I get doused with everyone's piss... ChiChi just about had a conniptions when I was started peeing in my mouth and everyone else was pissing on my asshole. Funny thing is I'm not really into watersports. I guess I say that about everything and then I go home with a hot guy and drink his pee. So basically I'm a liar to myself.

I Just Did What I Thought I'd

2010-01-31T14:33:00.000-05:00

never do and that is take a posting I had written and published down, but it seemed too whine-y, even for me. Work is heading my way and I will be very busy soon. It is very odd--lately I feel like I don't spend as much time with myself as I want, but I am with me all day long... I am backing into all the door knobs in the meantime... it's amazing how all it takes is hot sex with a hot guy that I would want to watch to make me want to have more and more hot sex with hot guys... le sigh. I am going to start working on that right now. I cut a year's worth of growth from my head last week. You can actually see more of my face. I look younger. I look like Cory again. It's kinda weird.

Finally, I Have a Computer

2010-01-31T04:05:00.000-05:00

So I can google myself incessantly, hoping for something else that popped up. I read up on all the new hot shit porn starts that are way hotter than me and have way more followers, and I get down on myself, and think, hmph, if one of 2007s biggest non-blogged gay porn stories was that I was quitting, espcially after such a promising year, maybe I should not have quit. I did sortofthesamethinginfashion too. That hunger is coming back to me finally, to be hot shit, and I think it's happening. I just went through some heavy cathartic emotions that culminated in the trimming of a year's worth of growth off my head and chin. I look clean cut, youthful, and, in my opinion, like a fucking pig bottom.

It totally changed things... my haircut. I knew it would. I have been getting it good all week long. I am coming to terms with not being vanilla. Like, every time a dude fucks me and pulls out and shoots all over my hole and pushes some in and out I guess I never think it is weird to get it all in my mouth or ass and clean his dick off till it sparkles. I always thought it was good manners but apparently it's piggy. In any case, I found myself apologizing for this the other day. This is like the time I apologized for drinking this guys pee that I went home with. Like, if you're down there and someone is pissing, and all the piss is going in your mouth and you are gargling it and slurping it down like a greedy piss pig, you shouldn't say,

"You know, it's so funny I'm doing this because I don't usually do this. I'm sorry. It's kinda weird. But you're just so hot."

You know what I might as well say?

"I am a dirty slut. Since you are still here I gather you figured that out already."

The other thing that happens to me during sex that makes me feel slutty is when guys first put their dick in. So the way I was trained... pain during anal sex is 95% mental. If you think a dick is going to hurt your ass, if you think your ass is going to clench down on it, it will hurt. I had this guy the other day say something like,

OK, I'm gonna pound you, so you can either relax your hole and enjoy it or tense it up and make it hurt. Either way I'm still gonna pound the shit out of you.

So what the fuck do I do? I ENJOY IT. So when guys fuck me they expect they have to go all easy at first. Generally, I become so giddy when I know I'm going to get fucked that my giddiness turns to greediness and I want it all in, to the balls, and squirming around on the base in two seconds flat. Which makes people think I'm a sloppy whole. But it's not. I just have really good muscle control and once I know a dick is going in my ass my ass does everything it can to welcome that dick in. I also apologize (sorry! in a tiny voice) if I accidentally kick my tops dick out of my ass. I legitimately think that is really rude.

Got fucked by another big fat dick today. That was nice. I'm starting to like sex again. And you know what, I'm good at it.

My Computer Broke

2010-01-24T04:21:00.000-05:00

BE BACK SOON

NEWNEWNEW

2010-01-18T23:36:00.000-05:00

Now I have a crazy hair to start writing a new blog. As you longtime readers know, I am passionate about food. To a lesser degree I am also passionate about blogging; however, I have not come across a food blog that I am entirely in love with. They tend to be written by annoying yuppie breeders or housewives. It is hard for me to relate to that. Every now and then I will write a lengthy blog detailing my experiences with food, either eating or cooking, but it has always seemed a bit out of place on this blog, which kinda works with the aesthetic but only to a certain irreverent amount.

Ladies and Gents, I present you with Cory Kooks! Get it? I am clever, and now, delicious.

The Last Paragraph in the Farewell Letter Willie-May Writes to Perry upon His Release from Jail

2010-01-17T22:52:00.001-05:00

from In Cold Blood, Truman Capote's masterpiece I started reading Friday night:

"You are a man of extreme passion, a hungry man not quite sure where his appetite lies, a deeply frustrated man striving to project his individuality against a backdrop of rigid conformity. You exist in a half-world suspended between two superstructures, one self-expression and the other self-destruction. You are strong, but there is a flaw in your strength, and unless you learn to control it the flaw will prove stronger than your strength and defeat you. The flaw? Explosive emotional reaction out of all proportion to the occasion. Why? Why this unreasonable anger at the sight of others who are happy or content, this growing contempt for people and the desire to hurt the? All right, you think they're fools, you despise them because their morals their happiness is the source of your frustration and resentment. But these are dreadful enemies you carry within yourself--in time destructive as bullets. Mercifully, a bullet kills its victim. This other bacteria, permitted to age, does not kill a man but leaves in its wake the hulk of a creature torn and twisted; there is still fire within his being but it is kept alive by casting upon it faggots of scorn and hate. He may successfully accumulate, but he does not accumulate success, for he is his own enemy, and is kept from truly enjoying his achievements."

My Computer is about Kaput

2010-01-17T21:50:00.000-05:00

And I am too... this is the first weekend I have actually put serious thought into moving back home, and it's all due to a passage from In Cold Blood I read Saturday night. Whoever the bitch was that wrote in comments that I should take a break (PS, I moved into the basement of an old seminary a year ago, bitch [I highly doubt it was Cynthia Nixon's fucking wife, but funny, real fucking funny bitch]) may be right.

I'm Asking

2010-01-15T23:06:00.000-05:00

What if I really liked him? What if he's a client? What if he is a creep and I gave him my number out of pity? What if he reads this blog (PS that totally happens to me all the time--writing about people or situations on this blog and having it bite me in the ass. I forget sometimes that I am two different people, and when people know my host body and not Cory I will let something slip as Cory and then they know what a trashy ho I am. Because they had no fucking clue before that. Christ. I'm fucked. Fucked. Fuck me.)?

I Still Have No Fucking Clue

2010-01-15T22:50:00.001-05:00

Do I ask??? Does that diminish how nice it was for us to meet (meat?) each other?

I Am Trying to Piece Together Who it is I Met Five Days Ago

2010-01-15T22:49:00.000-05:00

...through this blog, because I honestly have no fucking recollection AT ALL what I was doing five days ago. Literally. Honestly. Or two days back. No fucking clue.

Cat Lady

2010-01-15T03:54:00.001-05:00

I've recently received kind words regarding the regularity of my blog posts recently, and new press, which of course, has made me dread writing. I might be too good at it and better to start something new RIGHT?

I'm going a little crazy here. I forgot to pay my cell phone bill and haven't been able to get my shit together to leave the house till last night. I deposited all my cash in the ATM but it has not posted yet. The past couple weeks have had me freaking out on all my friends for no particular reason except to back the fuck off. I have no money, no phone, just me and my split personalities and my roommate's cats as she is still on her trip to Antarctica.

This solitude is something I created, something I have been working on for quite some time now--to alienate those around me that care. I don't really like it now that I have it. I am losing sight of who the real ME is, as I have been so adamant about turning Cory into something more than a porn star. I'm not sure how much of Cory is me, and how much of me is Cory, which came first, chicken/egg etc. I guess I kinda like it.

Dudes, and of course I want as many people to read this site as possible (or do I?) but if you are coming here only to hear about my sexual adventures and see some cock and ass you are coming to the wrong place. There are plenty of porn star blogs that do that much better than I would ever want to.]]

Feeling a little haggard, worn out, and I'm not sure why. Have I mentioned that since Sunday, I have left my apartment exactly once. It's kinda creepy. I'm kinda creepy. More skeevy thank creepy I guess.

I am paler than I have ever been. Seriously. I get pale and shit. Photographed next to white people, I look ghost white, while the whities are at least a color, even if it is pink. Do you have SAD? I am going to a tanning bed tomorrow, fuck it!

Wow. I feel so boring. You guys know I do not advocate the misuse of prescription drugs, right? I would be on the phone with my psychiatrist trying to get her to switch me to klonopin or xanax but she is reluctant. I have to explain to her that I am experiencing a "kick-back" when I take ativan--it keeps me up for a bit before it drags me down (not nearly enough).

Tomorrow is going to be a brighter and tanner day.

PS Natural disasters suck.

PPS Here are some photos of me I just found from about four years ago, just to give you something to look at. See? I care about you.

notice the toe in the corner

The First

2010-01-13T03:21:00.000-05:00

What am I supposed to be? Am I a person? Am I a persona? Am I real? To what extent am I real? If I am real, am I tangible? I don't really know anymore. I don't even know if it's me writing half the time. I seriously can't tell. I apparently have developed a bit of a habit of ativan... FUCK that's not me that developed a bit of a habit to ativan... that's fucking darren... but I can't help but always feel TOO sober, too cognizant, too aware of everything that is going on. Sometimes it's stifling. It takes me DAYS to get done something that takes me fifteen seconds to accomplish. I need the days in advance for emotional preparation. Am I a spirit? darren doesn't really believe in spirits. But I do hear voices. Voices of my dead ancestral brothers. I hear voices of kids that are just starting to realize their sexual impulses don't match up with the other kids they're friends with. I hear darren's voice, which is usually to tell us that we're bad and wrong and should shut the fuck up and just go through the motions. But I swear to God my brothers are trying to tell me something... and I think they may be trying to tell it to these new gay kids that haven't had to suffer. I don't think our bros are mad these kids don't have to suffer like they did, or I did... but I don't know what they are trying to teach them either.

I think things might start changing here... It is harder and harder for me to stay grounded, as myself, Cory Koons, whoever, whatever I am... but I feel that since I exist, and I'm not sure if I exist because darren exists or if darren exists because I exist, but anyway since I exist, and maybe shouldn't, our brothers have an easier time coming to me, or I have an easier time hearing them, seeing them, than darren does... Whatever they have to show me, I will let them, even if that means I lose some of myself in the process. I have never wanted anything but to make things more mindful, not better or worse... that is beyond my control, and I don't want that responsibility. I don't think I'm ever going to have answers, or at least finite answers... but I think questions will arise, which don't necessarily have to have an answers... I guess sometimes questions can provide really great answers, without the actual question being answered itself.

They want me to listen to them. I want you to listen to me try and repeat what they are trying to teach me.

I Always Wondered Where My Lego® People Went

2010-01-13T02:52:00.000-05:00

I Can't Stop Looking at

2010-01-12T19:12:00.000-05:00

efukt.com

I Can't Keep Up

2010-01-11T20:32:00.000-05:00

I really should be writing EVERYTHING down...

So this kid was fucking me last night. His dick was rather thick and veiny, but not too long. and consistently thicker to the base. I believe the dildo shape is usually called something like "The Destroyer." (brb while I research that... hmm... cannot confirm). In any case, my asshole has been kinda sore in a weird way since this guy did these crazy things to it--it's not damaged, just a little more worn in (???). Back to this dude, we are taking a break and I say to him, "I can't believe you're going to put that thing back in" or something to that effect, with full whimpering-for-more affect, and he says, "I don't have to... If your butt's sore it's OK."

"NONONO... just say 'You're gonna get it whether you like it or not!'"

woo

2010-01-11T15:10:00.000-05:00

I AM A PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS

2010-01-10T17:08:00.000-05:00

Speaking of Wool

2010-01-09T05:34:00.000-05:00

I finally washed some sweaters, including my favorite/most useful sweater ever. It's a really beautiful dark teal/hunter green color cashmere sweatshirt with raglan sleeves. Not tight at all, no excess fabric. Super warm, super soft. Couldn't live without it, yet I have for the past two months. I feel so much better now. OH and the brand is TSE.

This One is a Hard One--wait OMG I forgot the GEM of the night

2010-01-09T03:34:00.000-05:00

I don't really know what to say. I know i haven't gotten through my sexual shenanigans over the holidaze yet, but I don't want to talk about that right now. I slept till 5pm. Got out of bed to feed cats, back in bed till 730 to go see the Unitards (hilarious) in DUMBO. I rode my bike there. It is below freezing. Who the fuck do I think I am?

If you guys haven't figured it out yet, I'm bummed today. The way my mind works, when I'm bummed basically civilization is doomed. The amazing thing is that I can pull it together so well and appear fun, happy, the guy who laughs loudest at the parties. I want to disappear. I want to be famous. I want to be the messiah. I want to be placed in a thunderdome with everyone that has pissed me off in my life. I don't know why, since there's a lot of them and just one of me, but it could be fun nonetheless.

CRAP so I just remembered my gem of the night. After the show this man is commenting on my pullover--it's a beautiful old wool plaid pullover with grommets down the front and leather lacing. It is constructed so it needs a side zip. He asks me, "Well son, I sure like your sweater. Is it wool? I say yes, show him how it goes on, and he says, "Where's the tag that says it's WOOL? " there is none. "Well how do you know it's wool?" Mind you, my pullover is beautiful and expensive looking, and made out of some sort of boiled or felted wool. beautiful vintage, like most of what I wear. When I have him convinced that my pullover is indeed wool, he asks me if its Woolrich. I say no, there is no tag in the entire garment (UPDATE: I found a tag at the back of the neck that says "DRY CLEAN ONLY"). I think I did hear him asking me "But how do you know how to clean it" now that I think about it.

Fifteen minutes later of biting my tongue and smiling and shrugging my shoulders and tossing my hair a bit I depart through the fucking frozen tundra of Brooklyn on my bike. I walk out with Wool Man, who then says, "It's Wool Man! You know, I have the most, most amazing collection of wool. There is so much you can do with it. Blankets, jackets, sweaters." I tell him my hat, scarf, and gloves are wool, and he says, "There ya go! It's amazing! And warm. So warm."

This dude fucking loves wool. A lot. Don't get me wrong, I am all about the touch of fabric. But this was deeper than that, yet at the same time if I started throwing words out like alpaca, camel, cashmere,
angora, mohair, and qiviut I would lose him.

FOR TOMORROW:

WAKE UP BEFORE SUNDOWN (HAIRS CUT, CORY!!!)
CLEAR ALL SURFACES (couches, chairs, work table, banquette)
SWEEP AND VACUUM. MOPE WHERE NEEDED (hahaha I meant MOP but too good a typo)
WATER PLANTS
HAIRS CUT
SEX (whilst cleaning, perhaps, and after hairs cut... tomorrow I want a lot of it)

This is what I plan on wearing whilst cleaning. Fierce.

MORE COMMENTS PLEASE!!!

2010-01-08T04:23:00.000-05:00

I WANT MORE COMMENTS!!! JUST LET ME HAVE THIS TANTRUM. LEAVE SOMETHING. I DON'T CARE. I WRITE ABOUT SEX AND NO ONE CARES. I WRITE ABOUT FOOD AND NO ONE CARES. I WRITE ABOUT NOTHING AND PEOPLE CARE SLIGHTLY MORE. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

AND I'M DIRTY. I'M REALLY REALLY DIRTY... I TAKE LOADS, I GIVE LOADS, I DO THINGS TO PEOPLE THAT SHOULDN'T BE DONE TO THEM, I DO INAPPROPRIATE AMOUNTS OF DRUGS IN INAPPROPRIATE WAYS, I FIND MYSELF IN COMPRIMISING SITUATIONS, I'M USED TO BEING LAUGHED AT WHEN I SAY THE SAFE WORD.

DON'T THINK FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND THIS MAKES YOU BETTER THAN ME OR YOU SMARTER THAN ME, BECAUSE IT DOES NOT, AND IF THAT IS WHAT YOU THINK I FUCKING HATE YOU AND YOUR BALLS.

I'm the Most Honest, Heartfelt Person You are Going to Meet

2010-01-08T04:15:00.000-05:00

And please take that into consideration when you read me. Because although you like to read, I like to read as well. I like to read. A lot. I can't even stop myself most of the time. The letters don't even have to be in front of my face for me to read them. C-O-R-Y I can see all in my peripheral.

Seriously, why are you gonna fuck with ME? I love YOU. Just talk to me. Tell me what's up. Or at least fucking talk to me when I corner you to talk to me. I'm not ghetto, but I get shit done. I think it's called a motherfucking samurai. OK?

I'm a really sweet, sensitive guy... it's hard for me to not take things personally (which is lame since I am a veteran in this field) from time to time, but I guess I just never expect to take things personally from people I know personally, ya know? Like, couldn't you have mentioned that sooner?

Is This What Makes me Vain and Self-Centered?

2010-01-07T18:34:00.001-05:00

That sometimes I look in the mirror* and am dumbfounded by my remarkable, stunning looks! I mean, body, dick, whatever, but face? FACE FOR DAYS. I'm actually giving two different faces in one picture. With one face. Yeah. So there. Kate Moss lazy eye WHAT??? And I have a great personality.

*this is a picture of me XMAS DAY 2009, WINNING Pretty Pretty Princess. The game was so easy. I actually think I played it whilst curling my eyelashes.

**this also means that I cannot deny that I am not Pretty Pretty Princess at any time all year long.

***this also means I am not just THE Pretty Pretty Princess, not just A Pretty Pretty Princess, but ONE OF MANY PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESSES out there!

PPPPS: My last blog post had nothing to do with Pretty Pretty Princess... I kinda forgot about it actually, but then I had to start thinking about which picture would be best suited to describe how I feel when I look in the mirror and think, "Wow, what a stunner..." and then they kinda melded together. But seriously, definitely related, but independent thoughts. I am deep. and hot.

UNO DOS, CHA CHA CHA

2010-01-07T13:43:00.002-05:00

Now I can keep track of how many people visit this thing. It's kinda cool. I should have done it four years ago when I was the shit.

wonky eye here

2010-01-06T18:38:00.000-05:00

the wonk means I'm serious. Serious! My roommate's kittens are going nuts. She is on her way to Antarctica so I have both floors to myself. It's nice, yet lonely, and the kitties are so starved for attention, they basically follow me around and do cute things with sporadic chirps that sound like "MEAW!"I am starting to realize my original hypothesis about cats being masochists is correct. The longer I intentionally ignore one of them, the easier it is to make him make muffins in the air just by looking at him, or singing... imagine if our buttons were so easy. some of ours are. I met a guy that likes to spank me. I've never been into spanking; I"m a bit of a pain pussy to be quite honest. And I'm a smartass, including in the bedroom. I am the furthest thing from bossy. My instigating temperament seems the last to leave the building. This guy will stop fucking me to spank me when that happens. I hate it. I hate being spanked. And not moving. cuz the more I move the harder he'll hit. not to tense up, ditto. He has done some things to me that have never been done before. Most of them I could figure out what he was doing then do them on him. He's excited to watch me grow in strength in domming him, which is not making me feel like I'm any less his slave. I think it's good for me to learn to not mouth off all the time. Or at least be able to restrain it. So yeah. I'm kinda getting excited about it. He's out of town for two weeks and my ass is turning to a normal color and making me kinda sad. I guess that is what the internet is for, folks! To find someone to cut a switch and whip you over their knee! That lives approx. 4286 ft away from me thank you Grindr!

Christmas Eve/Officially XMAS, 5AM

2010-01-06T05:07:00.000-05:00

I left the dinner party still chirpy. After unlocking my bike I hopped on a ding dinged myself past the rest of the departing crew.

Roughly three seconds later I was evaluating my performance for the night. Did I laugh too loud? Is everyone there just enamored with my wit and beauty? Am I a fucking disgusting fake person that acts like this totally fake person so he can get attention and people will be fooled to think he's nice. Did I make a fool of myself?

I am unlocking the outside gate and I start crying. WTF? Keep it together. Feed the kitties, call my fam, no one answers but my sis, taking a dump in the bathroom at work (the ER) so after a few laughs I watch some TV. Alone. Then. Lo and behold. a text from my hot upstairs neighbor. He loves big booties. We cruised each other on the subway. The first time our pants came off, we both sighed... he loves big juicy butts and do I have to tell you guys what I think about big Puerto Rican dick? I didn't even wear clothes up to his place.

He tore me up. He gave it all to me. God Blessed.

Followed by some cuddle, and him napping in my arms, I scoot out the door down the two floors to my place. Amazing. Thank you, baby Jesus.

Holidaze

2010-01-05T05:27:00.000-05:00

I bet you guys have been waiting for a holiday update, haven't you? I will make things brief.

My pussy has been turned out. I really do have a cunt now. I feel sexy again. I feel strong, smart, clever, creative. I kinda feel like a badass, but with less attitude (???).

2010 will be the best year yet.

As You May Have Guessed

2009-12-25T03:19:00.000-05:00

I hate the holidays. Riding home from my Christmas Eve dinner. Ahem. Solstice celebratory dinner, riding my bike in the snow, car honk honk honk honk. I catch up with them at the next light and hawk up a big ol' chunk o' phlegm and it lands right on the driver window. This was accompanied by a very loud "FUUUUUUCK YOOOOOUUUUUU." My xxmas present to myself.

I Am on a Roll

2009-12-22T06:22:00.000-05:00

It's back, it's rolling (and I mean on a role, not a euphemism for taking MDMA).

NOTE: I often refer to things as "it," it has nothing to do with me trivializing things or disrespecting things and turning them into a non-being; I just do it with all of it--you, her/him, us, we, me... it does what it does and it actually has a point... it may be vague at times but don't get it twisted, it could be a situation.

Special thanks to Q & E for the vernacular.

The first"it" in this post refers to "it" as me.

I've closed two bars in a row... why are there so man seksy guys all of a sudden that think I'm hot? My hair is long now and faggots aren't supposed to like long hair.

Wasted, drunky, I feel like I am giving an awards acceptance speech. RK, AC, FCS, MA, LF, KA, JC & HH, SE, and of course I would be nothing without DK.

The Best

2009-12-15T18:54:00.002-05:00

I just de-fatted the best chicken stock I have ever made. The only other chicken stock that has come close is a method for quick chicken stock using a whole chopped up chicken that is browned and "sweated" with sautéed onion before adding water. It always seemed like a waste to use the chicken meat only for the stock, as the meat could be used as kitty litter it is so dry.

For the most delicious chicken stock such as that in my pantry, I took two approaches to the bird. First, I used a variation of a method for preparing Hainanese chicken rice by dropping the bird into enough boiling salted water to cover it by an inch or so. Roughly chopped celery, carrot, onion, bay leaf, peppercorn, and one dried red chili. I let it come back to almost a boil, covered it, heat on low for fifteen minutes then I turned the heat off and let it poach for another forty-five minutes or so. I removed the poached chicken and dropped it into a colander over a bowl. After the chicken cooled a bit, I shredded the chicken from the bone, being pretty messy about it (there will be a lot of dark meat still attached to questionably textured (fat is not supposed to be crunchy unless it is fried!) fat so do what you want. I reserve all the pulled chicken meat for stuff (mmm chicken salad, myriad pastas, or DOY make chicken soup!) and throw everything else back in the pot, bring it up to an almost boil and throw it in a 250° oven overnight. Strain, at least twice, when you wake up.

Poaching the chicken in water starts the stock off with a strong chicken flavor so when the carcass goes back in it doesn't have to do much work, but it does all night. The other great thing about poaching the chicken is you can add any aromatics you want--say you were going to make a Thai-style chicken soup--you can start off poaching the chicken with lemongrass, ginger, chili, and lime leaf.

Woo. so exciting.

I've Been Sick

2009-12-15T17:18:00.004-05:00

When I'm sick I'm miserable and annoying, and this sickytime was really annoying. I am getting rid of... brace yourself... a REALLY BAD COLD. That's all. No swine flu. No cat scratch fever. Low-grade fever, headache, that was all I had. I felt crappy enough to not want to do anything at all. For a week. wah. OK well I'm well enough now to venture outside (scary, but at least it's dark out)--oh yeah, this severe cold was so annoying that it gave me zits. annoying. I hate little things that mark my imperfection. the nerve! So I'm going to some Christmas-y thing put together by two friends (and past and present crushes, one of which could have been mine had it not been for RK) and I'm thinking of either looking really handsome and manly and gorgeous or like this,

but with jeans on over the union-suit. The sweater above is my dedicated holiday sweater on its 1st Manhattan outing (it had a trial run over to dinner in Brooklyn). I think it's a winner. It's 100% acrylic made in korea. kinda amazing. I guess I should shower now as the party has already started.

It Takes Four Hours...

2009-12-15T17:03:00.003-05:00

...from the time I eat quinoa to the time it comes out my ass in the same birdseed-looking bits. Hmph.

Old Dogs, New Tricks

2009-12-05T14:51:00.010-05:00

So I fucked the hell out of this guy yesterday... and I was shocked at how much I liked it. He was vers but couldn't really keep it up all that well and mine was rock hard so hey! I received a fleshlight in some gift bag about a year ago, and thought it was pure novelty. A friend of mine told me, "Do your dick a favor and go home right now and use it."

To be honest, I've never been one for getting blowjobs or fucking--I think my chronic masturbation without lube until I started having actual sex created some sort of hypersensitivity that would make me lose my hardon, of course, unless I'm getting fucked. Back to the fleshlight. Holy fuck. Wow. That's what they're for. Fast forward a few months, I'm plowing this dude and liking it. And then I realized:

Fucking someone is like jerking off but using their asshole instead of your hand.

Why didn't anyone tell me this sooner?

Kitten Photo Shoot

2009-12-04T12:14:00.004-05:00

that's what I did this morning with my stoney brainiac queer roommate and her two big fat, stunning, cats. and now...

TD2009 Menu

2009-11-29T14:17:00.002-05:00

beet-pickled deviled eggs
celeriac bisque with thyme creme fraiche and smoked salmon
green goddess butter leaf salad with chopped autumn vegetables and shrimp
brined heritage pork loin stuffed with apricots and currants
balsamic and pomegranate glazed baby onions
roasted autumn vegetables
sweet potato puree
collard greens
brussel sprout hash with figs, bacon and lemon zest

My friend, the baker, made a shitload of amazing desserts. yum.

Not Again...

2009-11-29T14:14:00.002-05:00

I haven't left my house since Wednesday.
I haven't showered since Thursday.

Hot or Not?

I have petted my roommate's cats, collectively, for around ninety-six hours.
I have let dishes (some from TD2009 still; no one stayed around to help me clean. At all.) take over the kitchen.
I am wearing sweat pants.

Hot or Not?

TD2009

2009-11-26T12:17:00.003-05:00

I have 14 wait 4 wait 8 wait 9 people attending my dinner this year. Menu plans to follow. I have been reconsidering the merits of being a total self-centered narcissist who writes about himself. Rather, I am realizing I could write maybe four separate blogs under different names and they would all be super personal and completely different. I don't know what my point is. You may or may not be reading more of my writings in the future.

I'm starting to feel relatively normal for once, and by that I mean what I think normal feels like, if you take pills in the morning to get you going and pills at night to slow you down.

It's never a dull moment over here in my head.

Love to all eleven of my followers--sheesh--I'm such a STAR!

Don't forget--I do not want your blanket.

by the incomperable Britton Reed Massengill

2009-09-20T18:52:00.003-04:00

Like a Fucking Unicorn

2009-08-05T01:20:00.001-04:00

I had sex with an uncut, atheist Jew from Berkeley, California, Saturday night. That's all.

No Advice Please

2009-07-31T12:42:00.002-04:00

I had lunch with this cute Jewboy I picked up while locking my bike up a block away from the office.

I noticed him cruising me as I dismounted. I said, "Hi." He said, "Hi," and kept walking. Not enjoying asking myself "What if?" I shouted at him, "WHAT'S YOUR NAME?" He turned around and walked back. Good boy.

He's adorable, laughs like a stoner, and is moving with his boyfriend to Northern California in the Fall. Awesome! What makes it even better? His boyfriend leaves in two weeks. Perfect.

I Think I Need to Change the Name of this Blog

2009-07-29T18:57:00.002-04:00

Cory Koons is a sexworker. I read other sexworker blogs, and they're all about sex, or at least sexy.

This blog is the furthest thing from sexy.

Suggestions?

I'm in Love

2009-07-29T17:21:00.002-04:00

With a married man.

I am working crazy hours right now.

I get home, it's late, I'm stressed, I smoke some grass, and I don't want to face my adoring fans. Sadface.

It's raining like a motherfucker. Someone get those Native Americans to stop dancing!

I'm writing this from my office. For those of you that don't know, and I don't know why any of you would know, I am now working in the field of costume design for major motion pictures. There are lots of windows in the costume department, on the 12th floor. No building behind this one so I can see out. The lightning is amazing. I don't really want to get into it or I'll start to sound really out there.

But. We are all so insignificant. I do not mean that in a depressed, deprecating way--it's true. The sky. It's so big. Much bigger than we will ever be.

I'm a total narcissist. I have no self esteem. This is not uncommon, but I think my case is more severe than others.

Of course I do!

MASKFACE!!!

2009-07-22T00:11:00.004-04:00

Literally. I just realized it. My face ISN'T perfect! I was shocked at first, myself... But it makes sense, right? Nothing's perfect!

So yeah, the left side of my face is kinduva MASKFACE. Since it is the side of my face that emotes--I smirk, sneer, squint, raise eyebrow, almost exclusively on the left side, therefore aging it more quickly. The right side of my face, by comparison, is gorged over. The skin is smooth, the cheek rosy , the eye emotes and twinkles, the brow above is arched every slightly more elegantly, the mouth is simpering rather than sulking.

I thought I was totally immune to MASKFACE. It's urban legend that Kate Moss has been such a successful model solely because of her WONKFACE.

As my exbf/bff succinctly stated, "Everyone loves a dude that can suck your dick, look you in the eye AND gaze at your cock at the same time."

KRISPY

2009-07-19T23:59:00.002-04:00

I am a bit fried. Went to Fire Island over the weekend. Worked the door for my dear friend Rich King's SUMMERSNAXX party at the Ice Palace in Cherry Grove. It was a hoot. This is a pic of me before I became so krispy.

Dinner for One

2009-07-14T21:22:00.002-04:00

I prefer eating almost everything out of a wide, shallow bowl. The one I just at from has an empty crib at the bottom of a staircase, with a doll discarded on the floor. green and bone. depicting wood paneling. the lip is made to look like three pieces of curved wood nailed down.

Pic from my Latest Porn Shoot

2009-07-13T17:57:00.002-04:00

i thought you guys would be interested in what I look like these days...

When Will I Ever Shut Up?

2009-07-13T17:52:00.003-04:00

This is a bit old but I figure it's worth posting. Fun times. It seems like I know what I'm talking about at least a bit, right? Strangely, the editor of the article did some incorrect research and made me sound like more of an asspig than I really am (!!!)(first time I've ever said that). I have done a fisting movie, but as a top. I believe I was fisty von fistenbergs thirteenth fist.

I have a funny story about all of that, well now that I think about it a few related funny stories, which should be in a post titled Adventures in Fistysitting or My Dating Experiment. Both of these blog posts I may or may not write one day.

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS...

2009-07-13T17:50:00.001-04:00

a free lunch.
bad publicity.
nuclear waste.
love.
clean coal.
society.
a natural disaster.
a stupid question.
race.
coincidence.
a retired porn star.

Special thanks to Google's suggestions.

I'M A WEINER!

2009-03-21T21:26:00.001-04:00

I MEAN WINNER!

the black party is tonight. iamsohungoveriwanttodie. geez this glamorous life can be so exhausting sometimes!

The Hookies. TONITE! at Splash NYC

2009-03-20T17:25:00.002-04:00

Hello to all my fans.

It has been a long time since I posted, especially since I started posting so regularly in February.

I wish I were more comfortable with attention. I understand there is a disconnect between my actions and my emotions sometimes (writing a blog, getting fucked onscreen, go-go dancing, bartending, fashion, are not necessarily the best things to do if you crave anonymity) but I really am trying to work it out.

It was a lot easier writing my heart out before I realized people were reading.

The Hookies are tonight. Thanks to all that voted for me for best ass. I am keeping my fingers (but not my legs) crossed.
info as follows:

The 3rd Annual International Escort Awards
"The Hookies"

Hosted by drag artist and singer
Shequida
With special guests : Jonny "The Gay Pimp" McGovern, Michael Lucas, and more.
Live at SPLASH BAR & LOUNGE New York City
Friday Night / March 20th, 2009
Red Carpet: 8pm Awards Show: 9pm to 10:30pm
(Admission is Free until 10pm)

I will be there.

Get Your Pocket Change Ready

2009-02-27T14:41:00.003-05:00

And perhaps a sock to put it in, unless you'd rather throw it at me. I will be dancing bar top at MOOSEknuckle at The Hose tonight, in the East Village of good ol' NYC. 225 Ave B btw 13th and 14th upstairs from the liquor shop. It might look something like this:

If

1. you have had too much to drink or you ate some mushrooms (paper seems to be so hard to find these days, if anyone has a connection please PLEASE let me know)

2. I start to dance REALLY fast

I Finally Fucked a Pageant Winner

2009-02-25T22:06:00.002-05:00

Right after I had my intake with my new therapist.

A friend of mine owns a catering company. I work for him from time to time. Most of the time, I am awash in a sea of anonymity. Other times, there are nights like last night. Within fifteen minutes of the doors opening, I am spotted by someone I work with in my day job (I work in fashion. Appearance is everything. My porn career hasn't been too much of a hinderance as my appearance naked is quite nice.). He says, "Oh hi, so nice to see you. What are you doing here? Are you doing the PR for the event?"

I say, no, I'm picking up your dirty glasses. I contemplate lying for a second, but I am no good at that sort of thing.

He says, "You do what you have to do."

Maybe ten minutes later, the same thing happens to me. Again. At this point, I am mildly horrified.

Not a few moments after that, and a young stranger walks up to me and says hello to me, addressing me by my real name. I politely say hello, and he tells me he is a big fan of mine. As he used my real name, I am assuming he means my work in fashion. I ask him to clarify. He responds, "Your work, um, in movies..."

I ask him how he knows my real name. He tells me "Facebook. Mind if I take a photo of you?"

I smile pretty for the camera. I don't like to take bad photos. I know my angles.

He then says, "You do what you gotta do."

Mortifying.

I Cry for Attention

2009-02-24T12:16:00.002-05:00

And I get it. Thanks guys. And you know what? I'm totally tired of talking about being depressed. Christ. Who isn't, especially now? Crap. Fantasies are not supposed to be doom and gloom (unless that is what gets your dick hard) and I have been a major boner kill. OK, so maybe my life has been a major boner kill, but that doesn't mean I have to become a boner kill.

Most importantly today, I have been nominated for "Best Ass" in the 3rd Annual Hookie Awards. Last year I was nominated for "Best Versatile Escort." Since the awards show is in my town, if I win, that means I will be there to make a speech. OMG. Who wants to hear that? I get chills just thinking about it. Follow the link to place your vote:

http://rentboy.com/awards/vote.asp

Thanks again guys, and please, tell all your friends, and vote as many times as you can!

To My Adoring Fans:

2009-02-19T15:01:00.000-05:00

Do I have any left?

What You Are Doing Tonight

2009-02-13T13:23:00.005-05:00

Sorry for the late notice, but I am doing the dance tonight at the Eagle NYC, for Max Scott and Mark Nelson's V-Day party, the Stag Ball.

There will be other, more famous porn stars there that are in better shape than me. The bonus is that I will be messier, cheaper, and drunker than anyone!!!

I think I'm Lonely

2009-02-12T15:31:00.002-05:00

Ah. I remember what the purpose of this post was now! Feelings of disconnection with society. That's what makes us rebels, right? We don't feel attached or like we have things in common with "normal" people and therefore seek ways to expand our reach, right? I think I could write a whole book on this.

Group therapy didn't work for me. Hearing other people tell their stories actually made me feel more and more alienated. Does feeling alienated and feeling like an alien mean the same thing?

the name is cory koons, don't forget it

2009-02-11T01:30:00.001-05:00

10 Feb 2009, 14:13
tktk: fucking HAWTTTTTTTTTT!!!
i know i know u from porn, but cant for the life of me remember ur name.
hottie asian boi pussy getting banged bb is so fucking HOTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!
im in love...

11 Feb 2009, 01:30
You: i haven't been gang banged bb... in a movie though?!?!?HMPH!

thanks for the compliments. i don't like to think of my hole as an asian boi pussy though.

private password attached: mrkoons

SEX

2009-02-09T16:56:00.003-05:00

I had it this weekend. I know many of you out there probably think that I have a huge, gaping hole. But let me tell you, it did not feel huge or gaping this weekend. It's very strange. I don't quite get it myself. For someone such as myself, there should be less... resistance. I almost feel like a superhero after they get their superpowers taken away. I still think I can do certain things, but then I hurt myself. Ow.

I NEED RELEASE

2009-02-06T19:57:00.003-05:00

I haven't felt that in six months. but God Damn.

PS This morning I woke up in a pool of sweat with a racing heart. I dreamt I was running a six minute mile, something I haven't done since my cross country days in high school. You think I was just born with these thighs?

My Next Tattoo

2009-02-06T02:27:00.004-05:00

with a few minor changes

I am going to have sex this weekend

2009-02-06T02:27:00.001-05:00

and I will write about it. I promise.

so if you google image me...

2009-02-06T02:21:00.002-05:00

after several pages, artworks by Jeff Koons pop up. and if you happened to google "cory jeff koons," pictures of us pop up next to each other. I started serious work on a series of diptychs. very exciting.

I woke up punching the wall.

2009-02-05T13:25:00.002-05:00

My sleeping nook is just that. three walls spaced far enough apart to barely fit a queen-size mattress, half a flight of stairs up from my closet and bathroom. I have never punched walls in my sleep until now. Interesting.

On another note, I have been reading other porn star's blogs out there this AM, and I realized that they are all sex addicts that talk about sex a lot. I guess, a lot like how I used to be. What happened, you ask? I'm working on it.